Friday, November 30, 2012

El Miedo al Amor (laguia2000.com)

La ciencia ha descubierto ahora, que el corazón piensa y tiene neuronas.
Hay gente que vive a la defensiva para no sufrir. El sufrimiento es parte de esta vida y no se puede evitar, porque todo ser humano tiene sentimientos y su propio mundo de significados los afecta.

El miedo a la pérdida es el que impide relacionarse mejor. Un encuentro que llega a sorprender, con alguien diferente que produce placer y que hace latir el corazón más rápido, puede ser la vivencia que se estaba esperando, no obstante, aunque la soledad sea la única compañía, antes de entregarse de lleno a esa experiencia comienza a levantarse la barrera automática que se ha creado ante cualquier señal de peligro y se adopta la postura clásica del no compromiso.

Negarse a comprometerse no representa solamente una actitud egoísta de no querer compartir la vida con nadie porque es más cómodo, sino que también tiene un significado psicológico con raíces más profundas; es el miedo a sufrir.

Ni bien dos personas se encuentran, cada una de las dos comienza a especular y a tratar de bucear en el intrincado interior del otro para conocerlo y entonces así poder desplegar toda la gama de artilugios para conquistarlo y si es posible dominarlo.

Pocos son los que se dejan llevar pasivamente frente a un fenómeno tan común y difícil como es la relación de pareja y se atreven a ser como son.

La química del primer encuentro no es casual, porque no somos sólo seres materiales sino también sociales y espirituales, atributos que no sólo están relacionados sino que conforman una unidad armónica, por lo tanto, lo natural tendría que ser que la persona total, tal como es, provoque la misma atracción.

Sin embargo, el fenómeno actual es que las personas estén disociadas, y tampoco se comprometan consigo mismos ni con valores, porque viven en un permanente relativismo, reflejando una apariencia que no concuerda con su forma de pensar, de hacer o de decir.

Es difícil imaginar cómo es verdaderamente una persona así y es imposible llegar a conocerla.

Toda relación es un vínculo que para que llegue a ser profundo necesariamente tiene que basarse en la sinceridad y la honestidad.

La sinceridad y la honestidad son valores que trascienden lo circunstancial, porque forman parte del código ético necesario para vivir en una sociedad y para precisamente evitar el sufrimiento.

El amor es la emoción primera, ya que por amor nacemos y la vida sin amor por temor está incompleta.

Y no me estoy refiriendo solamente al amor de pareja; porque el amor es la forma más perfecta de comunicación con los otros. 

Los Sueños y su Significado Oculto (laguia2000.com)

Un sueño puede hacerse realidad y la realidad puede ser un sueño.

El sueño es un estado de conciencia que tiene distintas fases. Durante el sueño la conciencia propia de la vigilia y la atención quedan en suspenso así como la actividad visual, auditiva y sensibilidad externa.

Una de las fases del sueño es la onírica, en la que se registran movimientos oculares rápidos que señalan la actividad visual cuando estamos soñando.

La mayoría de los sueños se relacionan con experiencias vividas durante el día o con expectativas con respecto a situaciones futuras, y no suelen repetirse. Otros, pueden reiterarse muchas veces durante mucho tiempo y éstos son los que tienen un mayor significado reprimido inconsciente.

El tiempo cronológico en el sueño onírico no coincide con el de la vigilia ya que un sueño muy largo puede tener escasos segundos de duración real; y también el espacio dentro del cual nos movemos durante el sueño es inexistente porque es una creación de la mente.

Un sueño es producto del pensamiento y mientras lo experimentamos parece real, tan real como la vida misma pero luego, cuando nos despertamos, podemos comprobar que no tiene realidad propia.

Este fenómeno ha inspirado a algunos filósofos a elaborar la teoría que sostiene que la vida también es un sueño. Pero hay una diferencia en la vida con respecto a un sueño. La vida tiene una continuidad que el sueño no tiene.

Sin embargo, algunos sueños pueden ser premonitorios y se relacionan con hechos que están ocurriendo o que han ocurrido en otro lugar, principalmente vinculados con personas significativas; o pueden proporcionarnos la solución de un problema que no pudimos resolver estando despiertos.

Para Carl Gustav Jung, el inconsciente es insondable y contiene además de las experiencias reprimidas de la infancia el inconsciente colectivo. 

El inconsciente colectivo de Jung contiene toda la historia de la humanidad incluyendo lo que está ocurriendo en el presente en todas partes y hasta pueden incluir eventos futuros, teniendo en cuenta que el tiempo es relativo. O sea, que según esta teoría, el inconsciente puede registrar todos los acontecimientos que se producen y que además pueden recordarse durante un sueño.

Algunas personas han llegado a soñar con personas fallecidas que les proporcionaron una información que necesitaban, como el código de la cerradura de una caja de seguridad, el nombre de una persona, la dirección, etc. Este hecho se relaciona con otro fenómeno que se puede lograr en estado de concentración mental cuando necesitamos saber algo que no recordamos.

Por ejemplo, si durante un examen no podemos responder a una respuesta, podemos imaginarnos en una pantalla mental solicitándole al profesor de esa asignatura la contestación a esa pregunta, y es altamente probable que la consigamos. El método de control mental Silva ha investigado profundamente sobre esta capacidad de la memoria que no utilizamos.

10 Life-Enhancing Things You Can Do in Ten Minutes or Less

It usually takes us much longer to change our moods than we’d like it to take. Here are ten things you can do in ten minutes or less that will have a positive emotional effect on you and those you love.

1.    Watch "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch. See it online at Oprah.com. This is a deeply moving segment that may be the best ten minutes you've ever invested in front of a computer.

2.    Spend a little while watching the sunset with your mate. Nothing extra is necessary. Just sit and take in the natural beauty of the sky and appreciate being able to share it with the one you love.

3.    Sit quietly by yourself. It doesn't really matter where or when. Just let your feelings bubble up and then experience the thoughts flowing out of your mind. Clearing your head and heart will give you extra energy to get through the rest of the day.

4.    Write a thank you note to your mate. When was the last time you thanked your partner for just being who he or she is and being with you? Doing this in writing will give your partner something to cherish for the rest of his or her life.

5.    Take out your oldest family photo album and look through it. The experience will fill you with fond memories and perhaps make you a bit wistful for days gone by.

6.    Play with a child. Most kids have short attention spans; ten minutes of quality time from a loving adult can make their day. It will also help you stay in touch with the child inside of you.

7.    Visualize or imagine a positive outcome for any issue. Medical doctors recommend visualization to patients with chronic and potentially fatal illnesses. If it can help them, it can do the same for you. 

8.    Go to bed with the one you love ten minutes earlier than usual. Then spend that time just holding each other. Let the feeling of warmth from your mate move through you.

9.    Hang out by some water. Studies show that hospital patients who can see a natural body of water from their beds get better at a 30 percent faster rate. If you're not near the coast or a lake, try taking a bath. Doing so is also healing.

10.  Get your body moving. Shake, twist, and jump around. Let yourself feel the joy of moving to your favorite music, or just the sounds in your head. Run, walk, and bike to your hearts content. You will live longer and love it more.

Sadly, many people measure happiness by how long the experience lasts. The truth is that a few minutes of joy here and there can make a big difference in what you get out of life.

What Does Your Body Language Say About You? How To Read Signs and Recognize Gestures

As we all know, communication is essential in society. Advancements in technology have transformed the way that we correspond with others in the modern world. We live in an era when launching apps, using an online QR code generator for immediate information, following turn-by-turn map navigation on our phones, and microblogging with tweets and instant photos have become the norm. Because of the constant buzz in our technological world, it's easy to forget how important communicating face-to-face is. When conversing old-school style, it's not only speech we verbalize that matters, but what our nonverbal gestures articulate as well.
Body language is truly a language of its own. We all have quirks and habits that are uniquely our own. What does your body language say about you? And what can you learn about others by becoming aware of what some of the signs mean?

I thought it would be fun to list some of the well-known signs that body language experts study and recognize. It is said that when talking to a person the information that we receive can be broken down as:
  • 10% from what the person actually says
  • 40% from the tone and speed of voice
  • 50% is from their body language.
  • Lowering one's head can signal a lack of confidence. If someone lowers their head when complimented, they may be shy or timid
  •  Touching or tugging at one's ear can indicate indecisiveness
  • Sincere smiles encompass the whole face (noticeable in the eyes)
  • A false smile usually only engages the lips
  • Tilting one's head can symbolize interest in something or someone
  • Overly tilted heads can be a sign of sympathy
  • Closing of eyes or pinching at the bridge of one's nose is often done when making a negative evaluation
  • When a listener nods, this is usually a positive message and relays that they are interested and paying attention
  • However, excessive nodding can imply that the listener has lost interest but doesn't want to be rude
  • Touching/rubbing one's nose may indicate doubtfulness or rejection of an idea
  • Sticking out one's chin toward another may show defiance
  • Resting a hand on one's cheek is often done if they are thinking or pondering; and stroking the chin can mean the person is trying to make a decision
  • Pushing back one's shoulders can demonstrate power and courage
  • Open arms means one is comfortable with being approached and willing to talk/communicate
  • Folded arms show that there is a sort of barricade between them and other people (or their surroundings) and indicate dissatisfaction
  • Resting one's arms behind their neck shows that they are open to what is being discussed and interested in listening more
  • Pointing one's finger can be construed as aggression or assertiveness
  • Touching the front of the neck can show that someone is interested and concerned about what another is saying
  • Hand movements that are upward & outward signify positive and open messages
  • Palms that are faced outwards towards another indicate one's wish to stop and not approach
  • If one's fingers are interlaced or if the finger tips are pressed together, it usually shows that a person is thinking and evaluating
  • If offering ideas to other people, many times the sides of one's palms are close together, with fingers extended
  • Putting your hands on your hips can show eagerness and readiness (also, at times, aggression)
  • Hips pushed forward, while leaning back can show that one feels powerful (also can be a suggestive gesture)
  • A wide stance - where one's feet are positioned far apart - signifies more power and dominance
  • When one sits with legs open and part, they might feel secure in their surroundings
  • Crossed legs can mean several things: relaxed/comfortable, or defensive - depending on how tense the leg muscles are
  • When you cross your legs towards another person, you are showing more interest in them than when they are crossed away in the other direction
  • A confident and powerful position is the "Figure of Four Cross" when one's ankle is atop the other leg's knee and the top leg is pointed sideways
  • Bouncing your foot if your legs are crossed can show that you are bored or losing patience
  • The lowering of the eyes can convey fear, guilt or submission
  • Lowered eyebrows and squinted eyes illustrate an attempt at understanding what is being said or going on
  • A lack of confidence or apprehensiveness can be displayed when you don't look another person in the eyes
  • One tends to blink more often if nervous or trying to evaluate someone else
  • If you look directly into another person's eyes you are displaying self-assurance
  • Wide eyes show more of an interest in a subject or person
  • If you are irritated with a comment made by another during a conversation, a common movement is to take a quick glance sideways
  • Staring at someone can be an aggressive gesture or suggest that the one staring feels dominant
  • Recalling a memory is usually done by looking up and to the right
  • Looking directly upwards can indicate that one is thinking
  • Eye contact is normally broken if someone feels insulted by another 

25 Acts of Body Language to Avoid

 
Our body language exhibits far more information about how we feel than it is possible to articulate verbally. 

All of the physical gestures we make are subconsciously interpreted by others. 

This can work for or against us depending on the kind of body language we use. 

Some gestures project a very positive message, while others do nothing but set a negative tone.

Most people are totally oblivious to their own body language, so the discipline of controlling these gestures can be quite challenging. 

Most of them are reflexive in nature, automatically matching up to what our minds are thinking at any given moment. 

Nevertheless, with the right information and a little practice, we can train ourselves to overcome most of our negative body language habits.

Practice avoiding these 25 negative gestures:

“ I speak two languages, Body and English. ” — Mae West
  1. Holding Objects in Front of Your Body – a coffee cup, notebook, hand bag, etc. 

    Holding objects in front of your body indicates shyness and resistance, such that you’re hiding behind the objects in an effort to separate yourself from others. 

    Instead of carrying objects in front of you, carry them at your side whenever possible.
  2. Checking the Time or Inspecting Your Fingernails – a strong sign of boredom. 

    Never glance at the time when you’re speaking with someone. 

    Likewise, completely avoid the act of inspecting your fingernails.
  3. Picking Lint Off of Your Clothes – If you pick lint off of your clothes during a conversation, especially in conjunction with looking downwards, most people will assume that you disapprove of their ideas and/or feel uneasy about giving them an honest opinion.  Leave the lint alone!
  4. Stroking Your Chin While Looking at Someone – “I’m judging you!”  People frequently stroke their chin during the decision-making process.

    If you look at someone while you’re stroking your chin, they may assume that you’re making a judgmental decision about them.
  5. Narrowing Your Eyes – If you want to give someone the impression that you don’t like them (or their ideas), narrow your eyes while looking at them.  It immediately places a scowling expression on your face. 

    A slight narrowing of the eyes is an instinctual, universal expression of anger across various species in the animal kingdom (think about the angry expressions of tigers, dogs, etc.). 

    Some people make the mistake of narrowing their eyes during a conversation as a reflex of thinking.  Don’t send people the wrong message… don’t narrow your eyes.
  6. Standing Too Close – This just makes people feel uncomfortable. 

    Most people consider the 4 square feet of space immediately surrounding their body to be personal space.

    Cross this invisible boundary with good friends and intimate mates only.
  7. Looking Down While in the Presence of Others – usually indicates disinterest.  Sometimes it’s even interpreted as a casual sign of arrogance. 

    Always look straight ahead and make eye contact when you see someone you know.
  8. Touching Your Face During a Conversation – Face touching, especially on the nose, is commonly interpreted as an indication of deception. 

    Also, covering up the mouth is a common gesture people make when they’re lying

    Always keep your hands away from your face when you’re speaking.
  9. Faking a Smile – another sign of deception commonly seen on the face of a fraud. 

    A genuine smile wrinkles the corners of the eyes and changes the expression of the entire face. 

    Fake smiles only involve the mouth and lips. 

    It’s easy to distinguish between the two.

    Don’t force yourself to smile… unless it’s for the camera.
  10. Leaning Away From Someone You Like – a sign of being bored and disinterested. 

    Some people may also interpret it to mean: “I don’t like you.” 

    People typically lean towards people they like and away from people they dislike. 

    This is especially true when they are sitting around a table. 

    If you lean away from someone you like, you’re sending them the wrong message.
  11. Resting Hands Behind the Head or on the Hips – usually interpreted as a sign of superiority or bigheadedness. 

    Only use these gestures when you’re in the presence of close friends.
  12. Not Directly Facing the Person You’re Speaking To – This indicates a certain level of discomfort or a lack of interest. 

    When we’re happily engaged in a conversation we face the person we’re speaking to with our feet and torso facing directly forward. 

    When we’re unsure of the other person, or not completely committed to the conversation, we tend to angle our feet and torso to the side. 

    Face directly forward during a conversation to give off the impression that you’re truly interested in what the other person is saying.
  13. Crossing Your Arms – a sign of defensive resistance. 

    Some people may also interpret it as a sign of egotism. 

    Always try to keep your arms open and at your sides.
  14. Displaying a Sluggish Posture – When you’re in an environment bustling with people your posture becomes an immediate telltale sign of your confidence and composure. 

    Your stance literally makes a stand for you, delivering a clear message about how you should be treated. 

    It can make a huge difference in the way strangers respond to you. 

    Place your feet a comfortable distance apart, keep your shoulders pulled back, head up and greet people with direct eye contact and a firm handshake.
  15. Scratching at the Backside of Your Head and Neck – a typical sign of doubt and uncertainty.  It can also be interpreted as an indication of lying.

    Try to keep your hands away from your head when you’re communicating with others.
  16. Messing With the Collar of Your Shirt – It screams: “I feel horribly uncomfortable and/or nervous!”  Once again, keep track of your hands.  Don’t fidget.
  17. Increasing Your Rate of Blinking – a clear sign of anxiety.  Some people start blinking their eyes really fast (in conjunction with an increased heart rate) when they get nervous.

    Since most people try to make eye contact, it becomes immediately obvious to others.

    Be cognizant of your blinking habits when you’re nervous, especially if someone is looking at you from a close proximity.
  18. Slouching Your Shoulders – indicates low self-esteem.  People associate perked-up shoulders with strong self-confidence. 

    Always pull your shoulders back. 

    Not only will you look more confident, you’ll feel more confident as well.
  19. Standing with Your Hands Crossed Over Your Genitals – This casual posture almost guarantees that you’ll lose a little respect before you even have the chance to speak a single word. 

    People feeling nervous or unsure of themselves will unconsciously take a guarded stance.

    Quite frequently they adopt a posture that guards one of their most vulnerable areas, their genitals. 

    This stance pushes your shoulders forward and makes your entire body look smaller and weaker. 

    Again, try to keep your hands at your sides and your shoulders back.
  20. Propping Up Your Head with Your Hands – “I’m getting bored!”  Never prop up your head with your elbows and hands during a conversation. 

    Place your hands on the table in front of you and keep them at rest.
  21. Wiping Sweaty Hands onto Your Clothes – a sign of frantic nervousness.  If your hands are sweating, just let them sweat.  Take a few deep breaths and try to relax.
  22. Sitting on the Edge of Your Chair – a clear indication of being mentally and physically uncomfortable.

    It’s an apprehensive stance that will make others around you feel uncomfortable as well. 

    Keep your rear end firmly planted on the surface of the seat. 

    When you lean forward, use your back without moving your bottom.
  23. Foot and Finger Tapping – usually indicates stress, impatience or boredom.  Monitor your habits and practice keeping your limbs at rest.
  24. Using Your Hands to Fidget with Small Objects – a pen, paper ball, etc.  This is another sign of anxiety.  It can also be interpreted as a lack of preparedness.  It’s always best to keep your hands comfortably at rest when you’re in the presence of others.
  25. Repeatedly Shifting Body Weight from Foot to Foot – This is another gesture that usually indicates mental and physical discomfort.

    People may also see this and assume that you’re ready to abandon the conversation, especially if you’re not directly facing them.

    Don’t shift your feet around more than once every 2 to 3 minutes.
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Source: http://www.marcandangel.com

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