The Story Of Positive Thinking

We have all heard the slogans. “Think Positive!”, “Expect only the best outcomes!”, “Strive to be happy”, “Avoid negativity!”, “Put more effort in your intentions!” “Find happiness in what you have” or “Be careful with your thoughts, think negative and you’ll attract negativity. Think positive and…” you know the drill. 

Positive thinking has become quite popular amongst spiritual communities and even in the business world. It is a concept that pairs up the truth of our creator essence, and the desire to attract riches, success, happiness, the ideal partner, or even spiritual enlightenment. Some believe that in order to get rid of what we don’t want while attracting what we do want, we must pretend that our desired reality is already in play while ignoring the current challenges. Even when it comes to global change, I often hear people say that we must avoid looking at what doesn’t work in our world because it will perpetuate negativity, or that we must even “believe” or “pretend” that all challenges have already been overcome.

But let’s tune into the underlined key words that are often paired with this concept. Think, expect, strive, effort, happiness, positive, negative, avoid, want, have, success, believe, pretend, ideal, riches… PHEW!! Sounds like quite the mental workout. But what about… not getting what we want? Who are we then? Did we fail? Are we now afraid to face a version of ourselves that does not match our expectations? Must we push even harder to try and stay positive? Or will we be pulled down into negativity and be forever lost?

Notice how agitated and demanding these thoughts and concepts feel in the body. Instead of allowing you to be as you are, they push you to act in a certain way, to force/avoid thoughts, to chase an “ideal”, to fear the “worst” case scenario… But thoughts create reality, right? You think what you want, you get what you want, is that it?

Sure, we can try to avoid or shape this moment all we want and believe that this is how you create your ‘ideal’ reality. But if we want to know what truly creates our reality, we must ask ourselves the right questions. What can’t we accept about this moment? What is the story behind our ideals? Must we constantly be in an effortful chase mode, want mode, pretend mode or faith mode to feel good about ourselves? Why can’t we feel at peace right here and right now?

The truth is, there can be a belief system or a suppressed emotional baggage behind our thoughts and desires. And THAT is what creates our experience. That is what ‘the secret’ won’t tell you. That is where we must inquire further.

• Why should we put so much effort in creating happiness? Is this our natural state? Or is it because we are we unhappy with ourselves when dropping all effort or with the idea of not getting to where we ‘want’ to be?
• Why should we hold on to so many expectations? Is this our natural state? Or is it because we would we be devastated when facing an outcome that would not match our expectations?
• Why must we find happiness in what we HAVE? Is this our natural state? Or is it because we cannot just be happy and at peace with what we ARE?
• Why should we attach ourselves to the ‘positive’ polarity? Is this our natural state? Or is this because we are holding judgment towards the opposite polarity and are afraid of facing hidden negative charges within us?

Notice how our minds have been programmed to avoid uncomfortable feelings. Many people will reach out for television, alcohol, partying, food or credit cards to avoid facing them. Positive thinking goes right in the list. It is just another way to focus ‘out there’ and not have to look at the feeling.

“An uncomfortable feeling is like a compassionate alarm clock that says, “You’re in the dream.” It’s time to inquire, that’s all. But if we don’t honor the alarm clock, then we try to alter and manipulate the feeling by reaching into an apparent external world.” – Byron Katie

Self-policing our way to “happiness” is no different than walking on eggshells. If we don’t get to reach our “happy happy” goal or emotional state, we then see ourselves as a failure and jump into an opposite polarity (e.g. sadness, dissapointment, frustration, depression). But does it really feel natural to live your life on such a fine line between highs and lows, between contentment and discontentment?

So let’s drop our ideas of polarity, of one being better than the other, and of the two being the only states that exist. Have you ever heard of peace? Not the “happy” or “satisfied” feeling of the ego having accomplished a goal or met an expectation, but the peace that holds no condition. The peace that underlies all of the mind’s illusory fears, identities, roles and belief systems. The peace that is who you already are.

Positive thinking, negative thinking, expectations, needs… all of these are simply effortful mind stories that pull us away from experiencing the only thing that is real: the totality and beauty of the present moment AS IT IS. As the tibetan saying goes, “When you have one eye on the goal, you only have one eye on the path”. When we create such a strict path for ourselves and fill our minds with conditions, rules and expectations, we greatly narrow our possibilities to grow and experience the totality of what this moment has to offer. We strive towards a goal that we often set up only to avoid what could be our best teachers, the very personal challenges that we need to face for our own evolution.

And guess what happens when we try to avoid what challenges us? It keeps happening. The teachers keep coming, the button pushers keep poking, and the fire keeps burning until we get rid of our own gasoline.

The whole idea of positive thinking actually programs us to miss out on the beautiful lessons, healing and expansion that occurs when we allow ourselves to face the darkness and negative charges within us. It perpetuates the belief that the “negative” is to avoid and the “positive” is to praise, when in reality, both are equal experiences that the soul has been using to play, learn and finally discover that it is not defined by either. It is once we let go of our attachment to polarity, that we transmute them both back into peace.

“Staying positive is just as effortful and draining as staying negative. Both require maintenance. True inner-peace, however, needs no story or concept to maintain itself. Peace is who and what you already are.” 

Observe the image above. Who looks more free, limitless and at peace? The one who allows himself to experience the full spectrum of his environment, or the one who restricts himself to only a fine line? That right there should be enough to debunk the myth of “positive thinking”.

Breathe… let go… and just BE!

“I went through that stage where I forced myself to be happy all the time. But when I actually gave up on it, that is when I found peace.” – Anonymous

Love,
Elina 

Source:  http://www.collective-evolution.com/2012/08/03/the-story-of-positive-thinking/

My Teen Is Breaking Rules - What Can I Do?

We recently moved, and my 16-year-old daughter started at a new school. Lately, she's been ignoring her curfew, and last weekend I smelled alcohol on her breath. What should I do?
- Joe

The best thing you can do is to talk to your daughter openly about your concerns. Be blunt, honest, and understanding — and reassure her that you want to know what's going on with her because you care. 

Discuss your expectations for her, and what the consequences will be if she breaks the rules. Many teens act like they don't need attention from their parents and family, but actually they do.

While one or two behavior glitches can be expected with a major life change, persistent changes in your daughter's behavior, attitude, or interests may mean something more is going on. Alcohol and/or drug use are often linked to depression or to difficult life changes like moving or going through a rough breakup.

If you're still concerned about your daughter's behavior, talk to her doctor or a counselor for advice.

Source:  http://kidshealth.org/parent/question/emotions/rule_breaking.html

Reviewed by: Larissa Hirsch, MD

10 Easy Ways To Get More Reading Done

Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers.

-       Charles W. Eliot

“I really should read more books,” you tell yourself.

There’s all this information you want to acquire, all these skills you want to learn.

You’re excited about reading more so that you can become a better parent, friend, employee, boss, writer or entrepreneur.

You want to immerse yourself in a captivating story and learn to see the world from a brand new perspective.

You know there’s plenty to gain from reading more books.

But when you get home after a long day, you give in to temptation.

You turn on the TV and lie on the couch. You login to Facebook and start watching YouTube videos.

Before you know it, it’s bedtime. No time left in the day to read.

If this describes you, you’re not alone. This poll reveals that half the adults in America read five books or fewer over the past year.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. I’ve discovered 10 easy ways to read more books, and I’d like to share them with you.

These 10 tips have helped me to read more than 170 books over the past four years, so I promise that they work.

1. 1.    Always have a book with you.

When you carry a book around with you all the time, it’s less likely that you’ll play with your phone or daydream whenever you’re caught waiting for something.

If you use your waiting time to read, you’ll be able to finish many more books in the long run.

1. 2.    Set aside time to read every night before you go to bed.

10 or 15 minutes of reading before you go to bed is a good way to unwind.

1. 3.    Get enough sleep.

This might sound like a tip that belongs in a different article, so allow me to explain.

Many people want to read on the bus or subway ride to work, but because they’re sleep-deprived, they decide to take a nap instead.

If you’re well-rested, you can use your commute to do some valuable reading.

1. 4.    Use your finger or a pen as a guide when you’re reading.

When you do this, you force your eyes not to “jump” around or skip back over the words that you’ve already read, which is the natural tendency of your eyes.

This tip alone will greatly improve your reading efficiency.

1. 5.    Use an e-reader.

I was initially hesitant about buying an e-reader (I use a Kindle), because I enjoy reading books in their physical form. But I was quickly won over by the convenience of doing all of my reading on the Kindle.

The font sizes are adjustable; you can share one book with multiple devices; you can highlight text and make notes; you can use one hand to navigate all of the Kindle’s functions (this is especially useful for me when I find myself holding on to the handlebar of a crowded bus with one hand, and using my Kindle with the other).

1. 6.    Buy audio books.

If you prefer to do your “reading” by listening, this option will work well for you.

1. 7.    Read one book at a time.

It’s tempting to read multiple books at once, but when you focus on finishing one book at a time, you’ll get more out of each book that you read.

1. 8.    Read while sitting on the “throne.”

It’s not recommended that you spend too much time sitting on the toilet, but since you’re going to be there for five minutes or so, why not do some reading? Five minutes of extra reading a day does add up.

1. 9.    Keep a list of books that you’ve read.

It’s exciting to see the list growing as time goes by, which will further encourage you to read more.

1. 10.  Keep a list of books that you want to read.

This list represents all the knowledge that you’d like to gain in the future. Referring to this list and updating it regularly will help you stay motivated to keep reading!

In closing…

Reading a book is like undergoing a chemical reaction.

You’ll never be exactly the same when you finish a book, because every book has the power to teach you, encourage you and shape you.

I hope these 10 tips enable you to be changed for the better through the power of reading many more good books.

Source: http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/10-easy-ways-to-get-more-reading-done/ 

Buenas razones para decirles “¡No!” a las sodas (vidaysalud.com)

 

Si la soda (el refresco) es tu bebida favorita, ¿cuántos vasos tomas a diario, o has intentado disminuir la cantidad que consumes? Si estás atrapado(a) en el dulzor de tus bebidas, aquí te damos buenas razones para abandonarlas y algunas claves para lograrlo con éxito.

“El agua es insípida, no tiene gusto a nada”, me dijo despreocupada Tina, la hija de una amiga durante un almuerzo de domingo. Luego tomó la botella de su soda preferida, llenó su vaso hasta el tope y, ciertamente, he sido yo la que ha quedado preocupada: como Tina, hay muchísimas personas ¿perteneces a este grupo?

Mucha gente está tan habituada a los sabores dulces que quitarle el dulzor a la bebida les resulta una idea imposible de concebir, aunque su cuerpo se los agradecería. Y esto no sólo es cuestión de los niños, los adultos le pueden ayudar a esos paladares mal acostumbrados también. Pero ¿cómo se puede hacer si son los mismos padres quienes no pueden dejar de llevar una soda (refresco) a la mesa, al automóvil, al parque o a esa reunión entre amigos?

En otra oportunidad, un paciente que sufría de obesidad llegó preocupado al consultorio porque le habían dicho que debía abandonar sus sodas para bajar de peso, pero le resultaba imposible. Es más, se ponía de mal humor y discutía con la gente si no tenía su soda, tanto… que pensó que era adicto.

Le expliqué que probablemente no era adicto sino que es un hábito difícil de cambiar. Una razón puede ser que los sabores dulces hacen que el cerebro desprenda ciertos químicos llamados opioides, que hacen que luego tengamos más ganas de consumir dulces. Aunque, hay es cierto que algunos estudios consideran que la cafeína que contienen algunas sodas, puede generar una mínima adicción que dificulte las cosas, si se beben sodas con cafeína y en ese caso es cuestión de dejarlas poco a poco.

Como sea, la tarea puede resultar difícil para cualquiera que esté habituado a consumir sodas, pero no por eso hay que dejar de intentarlo. Las bebidas azucaradas sólo aportan calorías “vacías” al cuerpo, sin proporcionar ningún nutriente. Esto no sólo ayuda al sobrepeso sino que además aumenta las posibilidades de que desarrolles diabetes de tipo 2, debido principalmente al azúcar que contienen y a sus efectos sobre las hormonas. Incluso, hay estudios que indican que las sodas sin azúcar, las que utilizan edulcorantes artificiales han sido vinculadas a un aumento del apetito y una dificultad para perder o mantener el peso deseado.

Además, las sodas pueden dañar a tus dientes. Tanto el azúcar como el ácido carbónico que contienen (incluso las edulcoradas artificialmente) pueden dañar el esmalte dental y causar caries.

Asimismo, ¿sabías que la mayoría de la sodas contiene fósforo y cafeína, dos agentes que se cree contribuyen al desarrollo de una enfermedad que debilita los huesos denominada osteoporosis?

Como si todo esto fuera poco, hay investigaciones que vinculan el consumo de las sodas con enfermedades crónicas de los riñones, el desarrollo del síndrome metabólico (un grupo de trastornos que incluye la presión arterial alta, niveles altos de insulina, el exceso de grasa alrededor de la cintura y el colesterol alto), ataques cardíacos, hígado graso y enfermedades crónicas del hígado.

Por todo esto, lo ideal es volver al agua, que no aporta calorías y es la mejor fuente para mantenerse hidratado. Pero si te resulta desabrida, puedes ir reemplazando tus sodas por otras bebidas más nutritivas. Por ejemplo:

• Jugos de fruta, pero ten cuidado con los productos comprados, que no tengan mucha azúcar. Lo mejor es hacerlos en casa y controlar la cantidad, sobre todo si deseas perder peso, ya que junto a las vitaminas y los minerales también te proporcionan calorías.
• Té de cualquier tipo: negro, verde, de hierbas… Todos han demostrado tener niveles elevados de antioxidantes que protegen al cuerpo. Si además estas buscando eliminar la cafeína de tu dieta, lee bien las etiquetas antes de comprar el te y elige productos sin cafeína.
• Café simple, sin agregarle leche, crema ni almíbar. Esta puede ser una opción ideal para los amantes del café, pero asegúrate de que no incluyan azúcar agregada. Al igual que con el té, también puedes buscar productos sin cafeína.
• Leche descremada (o baja en grasa) y de soja (soya). La primera es una buena fuente de calcio y ambos tipos son saludables, aunque al igual que con los jugos, es importante que tengas cuidado con la cantidad y las calorías que puedan aportarle a tu dieta.

De todos modos, recuerda que el agua es vida y la recomendación es que tomes entre dos y tres litros por día (de 8 a 10 vasos), dependiendo de tu estilo de vida: tu actividad física, tu dieta y otros factores ambientales como el clima y la altitud del lugar en el que vives.

Para darle un toque de sabor al agua de manera natural, una buena alternativa es agregarle cubitos de fruta fresca (por ejemplo, naranja, uvas o mango) o una frutilla (fresa) congelada, así como ramitas de menta o una rodaja de lima, limón o pepino.

¡Anímate! No tienes por qué dejar todas las sodas de repente.  Lo ideal es ir reemplazándolas poco a poco y, cuando menos te des cuenta, ya estarás liberado(a) del hábito. Luego, de tanto en tanto y si llevas una dieta saludable, no habrá nada malo en agregar un vaso de soda en alguna ocasión especial.

Fuente:  http://www.vidaysalud.com/daily/dieta-y-nutricion/buenas-razones-para-decirles-no-a-las-sodas/?mqsc=E3304964

Frustación (Vocabulario)

Frustración

f. Fracaso en una esperanza o deseo:
el hecho de no encontrar trabajo le produce una gran frustración.

Frustración

• desengaño, revés, error, fallo, malogro, chasco, fiasco, fracaso, desilusión
• Antónimos: triunfo, logro, acierto