7 Strategies to Prevent Burnout (Psychology Today)

Exactly four years ago today I stopped practicing law. I burned out during the last year of my law practice, which involved three visits to the ER, consulting numerous doctors, and experiencing near-daily panic attacks. Rebuilding my life has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but the years since have been some of the most rewarding of my life.

I’ve recently been interviewed on several radio shows, and regardless of the topic, people remain interested in my story and curious to know what burnout looks like and how it can be prevented. Inspired by your support to talk about my story in more detail, I’ve created a list of seven action steps that will help you slow or prevent the process of burning out. 

Increase your self-efficacy. Self-efficacy is having the belief in your own ability to accomplish (and exercise control over) personally meaningful goals and tasks. People who have a stronger level of perceived self-efficacy experience less stress in challenging situations, and situations in turn become less stressful when people believe they can cope (Bandura, 1989). The most direct and effective way to enhance self-efficacy is through performance mastery experiences. When you accomplish a goal, your brain asks, “Hmmm, what else can I do?” Another way to build self-efficacy is to find a self-efficacy “model.” Simply observing a friend or work colleague accomplish something meaningful is contagious and increases your ability to meet challenges head on (Bandura, 1997).

Identify what you need from your work. Harvard Business Review recently published an article identifying the six virtues of a dream company, as compiled from a list of hundreds of executives. The six virtues are as follows:

1. You can be yourself

2. You’re told what’s really going on

3. Your strengths are magnified

4. The company stands for something meaningful

5. Your daily work is rewarding

6. Stupid rules don’t exist

How does your company rate? While few companies meet all of these criteria, use this list as a starting point to create a more rewarding and engaged workplace.

Have creative outlets. Burnout interferes with your ability to perform well, increases rigid thinking, and decreases your ability to think accurately, flexibly, and creatively (Noworol, et al., 1993). Even if you aren’t able to flex your creative muscles at work, having some type of creative outlet will keep you engaged and motivated.

Take care of yourself. “There’s always something to do,” I can still hear my dad saying to me as I sat relaxing at the end of my shift at his plastic injection molding company. “Here’s a broom.” I find it very hard to just sit and relax because it always feels like there is something to do (and there usually is). When I was a lawyer, lunch often involved wolfing down some food-like substance at my desk while I continued to read contracts and catch up on emails. While my work ethic was outwardly admired, I was not working at a sustainable pace. It’s seductive to think we must always be present, sitting at our desks, in order for our worlds to run right, but our bodies aren’t machines (no matter how much caffeine and sugar you pump in). And really, whatever “it” is (work, chores, homework) will still be there after you take a much-needed break.

Get support where you can find it. The number of people who say they have no one with whom they can discuss important matters has nearly tripled in the past two and a half decades (McPherson et al., 2006). The more I burned out, the more I just wanted to hole up in my office and avoid people, and that was exactly the opposite of what I should have been doing. I didn’t want to let people know how awful I was really feeling because I thought it meant I was weak. It takes time and effort to maintain social connections, but supportive people are the best inoculation against burnout.

Get real and go there. I had to have some tough internal and external conversations when I burned out. I had to figure out why I started getting panic attacks at the age of 14, and why they came back. I had to figure out why I thought it was more impressive to become a lawyer instead of following my heart to become a writer. I had to dig deep to uncover why I was a people pleasing, perfectionist, achieve-aholic. I had to reconnect with my values. Getting real isn’t always pretty (which is probably why you’re avoiding it), but true happiness and burnout prevention depend on it.

Increase your diet of positive emotions. Studies show that increasing your diet of positive emotion builds your resilience, creativity (see #3 above), and ability to be solution-focused, things that are in short supply if you feel like you’re burning out. I made it a point to start noticing when people did things well (and told them so), and I tried to stop being so hard on myself. Aim for a ratio of positive emotions to negative emotions of at least 3:1, which is the tipping point to start experiencing increased resilience and happiness (Fredrickson, 2009).

Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes once said, “Too many people die with their music still in them.” After finding this quote in another article I wrote, one of my readers asked me, “What if the problem is that people are still alive but their music has died?” And that my friends, is what burnout feels like – being alive but feeling like your music has died. My work involves making sure that never happens to you.

Link: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/pressure-proof/201306/7-strategies-prevent-burnout

Alzheimer’s & dementia prevention pillar #4: Quality sleep

Your brain needs regular, restful sleep in order to function at optimum capacity. Sleep deprivation not only leaves you cranky and tired, but impairs your ability to think, problem-solve, and process, store, and recall information. Deep, dreamy sleep is critical for memory formation and retention. If nightly sleep deprivation is slowing your thinking and affecting your mood, you may be at greater risk of developing symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease. The vast majority of adults need at least 8 hours of sleep per night. Any less, and productivity and creativity suffers.

Tips to help you combat insomnia and catch up on your Z’s

• Establish a regular sleep schedule. Going to bed and getting up at the same time reinforces your natural circadian rhythms. Your brain’s clock responds to regularity.
• Be smart about napping. While taking a nap can be a great way to recharge, especially for older adults, it can make insomnia worse. If insomnia is a problem for you, consider eliminating napping. If you must nap, do it in the early afternoon, and limit it to thirty minutes.
• Set the mood. Reserve your bed for sleep and sex, and ban television and computers from the bedroom (both are stimulating and may lead to difficulties falling asleep).
• Create a relaxing bedtime ritual. Take a hot bath, do some light stretches, write in your journal, or dim the lights. As it becomes habit, your nightly ritual will send a powerful signal to your brain that it’s time for deep restorative sleep.
• Quiet your inner chatter. When stress, anxiety, or negative internal dialogues keep you awake, get out of bed. Try reading or relaxing in another room for twenty minutes then hop back in. 

Link: http://www.helpguide.org/elder/alzheimers_prevention_slowing_down_treatment.htm

Thinking in different languages

A friend who was visiting from the United States listened to me speaking Turkish with merchants in the Grand Bazaar and then translating our negotiations in Turkish into English for his benefit. “How do you talk in one language and then translate into another one so quickly?” he asked. “What language do you think in while you're talking?”

Until he asked me this, I had not given much thought to which language I function in while speaking. I explained that when conversing in Turkish, I think in Turkish, and when using English, I think in English. Because my friend is monolingual, he found it intriguing that people who speak two or more languages are able to think in a language that is not their native tongue. My son and I both were raised speaking two languages at home, so for both of us, as bilinguals from the start, it is normal to think in the language we are using. There is no conscious switching over to another language, but rather, it is an automatic action. Even though I am still far from fluent in Turkish, I often have internal dialogues in Turkish instead of English. I have noticed my son does the same thing, sometimes talking to himself in English, sometimes in Turkish. Both of us also dream in different languages -- my son in Turkish and English, while I dream in English, Spanish, Turkish and sometimes even Arabic. I spoke about this phenomenon with a friend who is a linguist and he explained that this is completely normal and in fact, the desired goal when studying a new language. There is not set amount of time or fluency level that needs to be reached before a student begins to think in another language. It varies from person to person and depends on how much time and effort students put into immersing themselves into the language. For instance, within a few months some students may begin thinking in a new language instead of translating in their head into their native tongue. Other students will take longer. There is no set timeframe, but depends on each individual. When I speak English to the Turkish students in my son's fifth grade class, I can tell that some of them are beginning to think in English, while others are still listening to the English and translating it into Turkish before responding. The students are also now learning German and Mandarin. If they continue with their studies, eventually all the students should be able to switch between all four languages as they become more confident and fluent. It is interesting to watch my son as he begins learning the two new languages. As he grasps new words and phrases in German and Mandarin, he is starting to see objects in different ways. It will be interesting to see how long it takes before he begins to think in another language. Learning a new language is not just about learning the words. Instead, one is required to think with a new set of labels for everything around them. Recognizing this, many language courses use pictures and symbols to illustrate the meanings of new words instead of handing out vocabulary lists with translations into one's native language. Using pictures or symbols to teach words helps students to gradually change the labels they have for the world around them. For instance, when I began learning Turkish, I put notes on items throughout the house with the Turkish name written on it. By seeing the notes every day, I began to think of different objects by the Turkish name without translating it first from English. A table automatically became “masa,” the cupboard became “dolap.” This was my first step in not only learning the vocabulary in Turkish, but also the beginning of thinking in Turkish. Learning to think in a different language is a process that cannot be rushed. It takes time for the mind to adjust to a new language. However, with effort and perseverance, it will happen. Over the many years that I have studied foreign languages, I have felt a sense of accomplishment when I suddenly realized that I was communicating without translating back and forth between my native tongue and the new language. I had found that eventually I not only think in another language, but I begin unconsciously employing the facial expressions and body motions used by native speakers as well. My monolingual friend found it hard to grasp the idea that people can think as well as speak in different languages, but it is a natural occurrence. While I still struggle daily with Turkish, I know that slowly I understand more of what goes on around me. Learning to think in Turkish was a major step in communication.

Source: http://www.todayszaman.com/columnist-260565-thinking-in-different-languages.html

Thinking in a Foreign Language Makes Decisions More Rational

To judge a risk more clearly, it may help to consider it in a foreign language.

A series of experiments on more than 300 people from the U.S. and Korea found that thinking in a second language reduced deep-seated, misleading biases that unduly influence how risks and benefits are perceived.

“Would you make the same decisions in a foreign language as you would in your native tongue?” asked psychologists led by Boaz Keysar of the University of Chicago in an April 18 Psychological Science study.

“It may be intuitive that people would make the same choices regardless of the language they are using, or that the difficulty of using a foreign language would make decisions less systematic. We discovered, however, that the opposite is true: Using a foreign language reduces decision-making biases,” wrote Keysar’s team.

Psychologists say human reasoning is shaped by two distinct modes of thought: one that’s systematic, analytical and cognition-intensive, and another that’s fast, unconscious and emotionally charged.

'Would you make the same decisions in a foreign language?'

 

In light of this, it’s plausible that the cognitive demands of thinking in a non-native, non-automatic language would leave people with little leftover mental horsepower, ultimately increasing their reliance on quick-and-dirty cogitation.

Equally plausible, however, is that communicating in a learned language forces people to be deliberate, reducing the role of potentially unreliable instinct. Research also shows that immediate emotional reactions to emotively charged words are muted in non-native languages, further hinting at deliberation.

To investigate these possibilities, Keysar’s team developed several tests based on scenarios originally proposed by psychologist Daniel Kahneman, who in 2002 won a Nobel Prize in economics for his work on prospect theory, which describes how people intuitively perceive risk.

In one famous example, Kahneman showed that, given the hypothetical option of saving 200 out of 600 lives, or taking a chance that would either save all 600 lives or none at all, people prefer to save the 200 — yet when the problem is framed in terms of losing lives, many more people prefer the all-or-nothing chance rather than accept a guaranteed loss of 400 lives.

People are, in a nutshell, instinctively risk-averse when considering gain and risk-taking when faced with loss, even when the essential decision is the same. It’s a gut-level human predisposition, and if second-language thinking made people think less systematically, Keysar’s team supposed the tendency would be magnified. Conversely, if second-language thinking promoted deliberation, the tendency would be diminished.

The first experiment involved 121 American students who learned Japanese as a second language. Some were presented in English with a hypothetical choice: To fight a disease that would kill 600,000 people, doctors could either develop a medicine that saved 200,000 lives, or a medicine with a 33.3 percent chance of saving 600,000 lives and a 66.6 percent chance of saving no lives at all.

 

Results of two tests of foreign-language effects on framing biases. In each, people were given the choice between sure savings or an all-or-nothing bet. Bars show how many people preferred sure savings when the choice was framed in terms of gains (black) or losses (gray) and considered in their native language (left pair) or second language (right pair). Image: Keysar et al./Psychological Science

Nearly 80 percent of the students chose the safe option. When the problem was framed in terms of losing rather than saving lives, the safe-option number dropped to 47 percent. When considering the same situation in Japanese, however, the safe-option number hovered around 40 percent, regardless of how choices were framed. The role of instinct appeared reduced.

Two subsequent experiments in which the hypothetical situation involved job loss rather than death, administered to 144 native Korean speakers from Korea’s Chung Nam National University and 103 English speakers studying abroad in Paris, found the same pattern of enhanced deliberation. “Using a foreign language diminishes the framing effect,” wrote Keysar’s team.

The researchers next tested how language affected decisions on matters of direct personal import. According to prospect theory, the possibility of small losses outweigh the promise of larger gains, a phenomenon called myopic risk aversion and rooted in emotional reactions to the idea of loss.

The same group of Korean students was presented with a series of hypothetical low-loss, high-gain bets. When offered bets in Korean, just 57 percent took them. When offered in English, that number rose to 67 percent, again suggesting heightened deliberation in a second language.

To see if the effect held up in real-world betting, Keysar’s team recruited 54 University of Chicago students who spoke Spanish as a second language. Each received $15 in $1 bills, each of which could be kept or bet on a coin toss. If they lost a toss, they’d lose the dollar, but winning returned the dollar and another $1.50 — a proposition that, over multiple bets, would likely be profitable.

When the proceedings were conducted in English, just 54 percent of students took the bets, a number that rose to 71 percent when betting in Spanish. “They take more bets in a foreign language because they expect to gain in the long run, and are less affected by the typically exaggerated aversion to losses,” wrote Keysar and colleagues.

The researchers believe a second language provides a useful cognitive distance from automatic processes, promoting analytical thought and reducing unthinking, emotional reaction.

“Given that more and more people use a foreign language on a daily basis, our discovery could have far-reaching implications,” they wrote, suggesting that people who speak a second language might use it when considering financial decisions. “Over a long time horizon, this might very well be beneficial.”

Source: http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2012/04/language-and-bias/

Citation: “The Foreign-Language Effect: Thinking in a Foreign Tongue Reduces Decision Biases.” By Boaz Keysar, Sayuri L. Hayakawa and Sun Gyu An. Psychological Science, published online 18 April 2012.

See Yourself Doing It

VI

See Yourself Doing It

You say big corporations scheme
To keep a fellow down;
They drive him, shame him, starve him, too,
If he so much as frown.
God knows I hold no brief for them;
Still, come with me to-day
And watch those fat directors meet,
For this is what they say:
   "In all our force not one to take
   The new work that we plan!
   In all the thousand men we've hired
   Where shall we find a man?"
                       —St. Clair Adams. *

You've often heard it said that a man is worth $2 a day from the neck down. How much he's worth from the neck up depends upon how much he is able to SEE.

"Without vision the people perish" did not refer to good eyesight. It was the eyes of the mind that counted in days of old just as they do today. Without them you are just so much power "on the hoof," to be driven as a horse or an ox is driven. And you are worth only a little more than they. 

But given vision—imagination—the ability to visualize conditions and things a month or a year ahead; given the eyes of the mind—there's no limit to your value or to your capabilities.

The locomotive, the steamboat, the automobile, the aeroplane—all existed complete in the imagination of some man before ever they became facts. The wealthy men, the big men, the successful men, visioned their successes in their minds’ eyes before ever they won them from the world.

From the beginning of time, nothing has ever taken on material shape without first being visualized in mind. The only difference between the sculptor and the mason is in the mental image behind their work. Rodin employed masons to hew his blocks of marble into the general shape of the figure he was about to form. That was mere mechanical labor. Then Rodin took it in hand and from that rough hewn piece of stone there sprang the wondrous figure of "The Thinker." That was art!

The difference was all in the imagination behind the hands that wielded mallet and chisel. After Rodin had formed his masterpiece, ordinary workmen copied it by the thousands. Rodin's work brought fabulous sums. The copies brought day wages. Conceiving ideas—creating something—is what pays, in sculpture as in all else. Mere hand-work is worth only hand wages.

“The imagination,” says Glenn Clark in “The Soul's Sincere Desire,” “is of all qualities in man the most God-like—that which associates him most closely with God. The first mention we read of man in the Bible is where he is spoken of as an 'image.' 'Let us make man in our image, after our likeness.' The only place where an image can be conceived is in the imagination. Thus man, the highest creation of God, was a creation of God's imagination.

“The source and center of all man's creative power—the power that above all others lifts him above the level of brute creation, and that gives him dominion, is his power of making images, or the power of the imagination. There are some who have always thought that the imagination was something which makes-believe that which is not. This is fancy

—not imagination. Fancy would convert that which is real into pretense and sham; imagination enables one to see through the appearance of a thing to what it really is.”
 

There is a very real law of cause and effect which makes the dream of the dreamer come true. It is the law of visualization—the law that calls into being in this outer material world everything that is real in the inner world. Imagination pictures the thing you desire. VISION idealizes it. It reaches beyond the thing that is, into the conception of what can be. Imagination gives you the picture. Vision gives you the impulse to make the picture your own.

Make your mental image clear enough, picture it vividly in every detail, and the Genie-of-your-Mind will speedily bring it into being as an everyday reality.

That law holds true of everything in life. There is nothing you can rightfully desire that cannot be brought into being through visualization.

Suppose there's a position you want the general managership of your Company. See yourself—just as you are now—sitting in the general manager's chair. See your name on his door. See yourself handling his affairs as you would handle them. Get that picture impressed upon your subconscious mind. See it! Believe it! The Genie-of-your-Mind will find the way to make it come true.

The keynote of successful visualization is this: See things as you would have them be instead of as they are. Close your eyes and make clear mental pictures. Make them look and act just as they would in real life. In short, day dream—but day dream with a purpose. Concentrate on the one idea to the exclusion of all others, and continue to concentrate on that one idea until it has been accomplished.

Do you want an automobile? A home? A factory? They can all be won in the same way. They are in their essence all of them ideas of mind, and if you will but build them up in your own mind first, stone by stone, complete in every detail, you will find that the Genie-of-your-Mind can build them up similarly in the material world.

“The building of a trans-continental railroad from a mental picture,” says C. W. Chamberlain in “The Uncommon Sense of Applied Psychology,” “gives the average individual an idea that it is a big job. The fact of the matter is, the achievement, as well as the perfect mental picture, is made up of millions of little  job, each fitting in its proper place and helping to make up the whole.

“A skyscraper is built from individual bricks, the laying of each brick being a single job which must be completed before the next brick can be laid.”

It is the same with any work, any study. To quote Professor James:

"As we become permanent drunkards by so many separate drinks, so we become saints in the moral, and authorities and experts in the practical and scientific spheres, by so many separate acts and hours of working. Let no youth have any anxiety about the upshot of his education whatever the line of it may be. If he keep faithfully busy each hour of the working day he may safely leave the final result to itself. He can with perfect certainty count on waking some fine morning, to find himself one of the competent ones of his generation, in whatever pursuit he may have singled out.…Young people should know this truth in advance. The ignorance of it has probably engendered more discouragement and faintheartedness in youths embarking on arduous careers than all other causes taken together."

Remember that the only limit to your capabilities is the one you place upon them. There is no law of limitation. The only law is of supply. Through your subconscious mind you can draw upon universal supply for anything you wish. The ideas of Universal Mind are as countless as the sands on the seashore. Use them. And use them lavishly, just as they are given. There is a little poem by Jessie B. Rittenhouse * that so well describes the limitations that most of us put upon ourselves that I quote it here:

"I bargained with Life for a penny,
 And Life would pay no more,
 However I begged at evening
 When I counted my scanty store.    .      .      .      .      .      .
"For Life is a just employer;
 He gives you what you ask,
 But once you have set the wages,
 Why, you must bear the task.
"I worked for a menial's hire,
 Only to learn, dismayed,
 That any wage I had asked of Life,
 Life would have paid."

Aim high! If you miss the moon, you may hit a star. Everyone admits that this world and all the vast firmament must have been thought into shape from the formless void by some Universal Mind. That same Universal Mind rules today, and it has given to each form of life power to attract to itself whatever it needs for its perfect growth. The tree, the plant, the animal—each one finds its need.

You are an intelligent, reasoning creature. Your mind is part of Universal Mind. And you have power to say what you require for perfect growth. Don't be a niggard with yourself. Don't sell yourself for a penny. Whatever price you set upon yourself, life will give. So aim high. Demand much! Make a clear, distinct mental image of what it is you want. Hold it in your thought. Visualize it, see it, believe it! The ways and means of satisfying that desire will follow. For supply always comes on the heels of demand.

It is by doing this that you take your fate out of the hands of chance. It is in this way that you control the experiences you are to have in life. But be sure to visualize only what you want. The law works both ways. If you visualize your worries and your fears, you will make them real. Control your thought and you will control circumstances. Conditions will be what you make them.

Most of us are like factories where two-thirds of the machines are idle, where the workmen move around in a listless, dispirited sort of way, doing only the tenth part of what they could do if the head of the plant were watching and directing them. Instead of that, he is off idly dreaming or waiting for something to turn up. What he needs is someone to point out to him his listless workmen and idle machines, and show him how to put each one to working full time and overtime.

And that is what YOU need, too. You are working at only a tenth of your capacity. You are doing only a tenth of what you are capable of. The time you spend idly wishing or worrying can be used in so directing your subconscious mind that it will bring you anything of good you may desire.

Philip of Macedon, Alexander's father, perfected the "phalanx"—a triangular formation which enabled him to center the whole weight of his attack on one point in the opposing line. It drove through everything opposed to it. In that day and age it was invincible. And the idea is just as invincible today.

Keep the one thought in mind, SEE it being carried out step by step, and you can knit any group of workers into one homogeneous whole, all centered on the one idea. You can accomplish any one thing. You can put across any definite idea. Keep that mental picture ever in mind and you will make it as invincible as was Alexander's phalanx of old.

"It is not the guns or armament
 Or the money they can pay,
 It's the close cooperation
 That makes them win the day.
 It is not the individual
 Or the army as a whole
 But the everlasting team work
      of every bloomin’ soul."
                     —J. Mason Knox.

The error of the ages is the tendency mankind has always shown to limit the power of Mind, or its willingness to help in time of need.

"Know ye not," said Paul, "that ye are the temples of the Living God?"

No—most of us do not know it. Or at least, if we do, we are like the Indian family out on the Cherokee reservation. Oil had been found on their land and money poured in upon them. More money than they had ever known was in the world. Someone persuaded them to build a great house, to have it beautifully furnished, richly decorated. The house when finished was one of the show places of that locality. But the Indians, while very proud of their showy house, continued to live in their old sod shack!

So it is with many of us. We may know that we are "temples of the Living God." We may even be proud of that fact. But we never take advantage of it to dwell in that temple, to proclaim our dominion over things and conditions. We never avail ourselves of the power that is ours.

The great Prophets of old had the forward look. Theirs was the era of hope and expectation. They looked for the time when the revelation should come that was to make men "sons of God."

"They shall obtain joy and gladness, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away."
 

Jesus came to fulfill that revelation. "Ask and ye shall receive, that your joy may be full."

The world has turned in vain to matter and materialistic philosophy for deliverance from its woes. In the future the only march of actual progress will be in the mental realm, and this progress will not be in the way of human speculation and theorizing, but in the actual demonstration of the Universal, Infinite Mind.

The world stands today within the vestibule of the vast realm of divine intelligence, wherein is found the transcendent, practical power of Mind over all things.

"What eye never saw, nor ear ever heard,
 What never entered the mind of man—
 Even all that God has prepared for those who love Him."

Source:  http://www.sacred-texts.com/nth/tsoa/tsoa13.htm

Body Image and Self-Esteem (kidshealth.org)

Does any of this sound familiar? "I'm too tall." "I'm too short." "I'm too skinny." "If only I were shorter/taller/had curly hair/straight hair/a smaller nose/longer legs, I'd be happy."

Are you putting yourself down? If so, you're not alone. As a teen, you're going through lots of changes in your body. And, as your body changes, so does your image of yourself. It's not always easy to like every part of your looks, but when you get stuck on the negatives it can really bring down your self-esteem.

Why Are Self-Esteem and Body Image Important?

Self-esteem is all about how much you feel you are worth — and how much you feel other people value you. Self-esteem is important because feeling good about yourself can affect your mental health and how you behave.

People with high self-esteem know themselves well. They're realistic and find friends that like and appreciate them for who they are. People with high self-esteem usually feel more in control of their lives and know their own strengths and weaknesses.

Body image is how you view your physical self — including whether you feel you are attractive and whether others like your looks. For many people, especially people in their early teens, body image can be closely linked to self-esteem.

What Influences a Person's Self-Esteem?

Puberty and Development

Some people struggle with their self-esteem and body image when they begin puberty because it's a time when the body goes through many changes. These changes, combined with wanting to feel accepted by our friends, means it can be tempting to compare ourselves with others. The trouble with that is, not everyone grows or develops at the same time or in the same way.

Media Images and Other Outside Influences

Our tweens and early teens are a time when we become more aware of celebrities and media images — as well as how other kids look and how we fit in. We might start to compare ourselves with other people or media images ("ideals" that are frequently airbrushed). All of this can affect how we feel about ourselves and our bodies even as we grow into our teens.

Families and School

Family life can sometimes influence our body image. Some parents or coaches might be too focused on looking a certain way or "making weight" for a sports team. Family members might struggle with their own body image or criticize their kids' looks ("why do you wear your hair so long?" or "how come you can't wear pants that fit you?"). This can all influence a person's self-esteem, especially if they're sensitive to others peoples' comments.

People also may experience negative comments and hurtful teasing about the way they look from classmates and peers. Although these often come from ignorance, sometimes they can affect body image and self-esteem.

Healthy Self-Esteem

If you have a positive body image, you probably like and accept yourself the way you are, even if you don't fit some media "ideal." This healthy attitude allows you to explore other aspects of growing up, such as developing good friendships, becoming more independent from your parents, and challenging yourself physically and mentally. Developing these parts of yourself can help boost your self-esteem.

A positive, optimistic attitude can help people develop strong self-esteem. For example, if you make a mistake, you might want to say, "Hey, I'm human" instead of "Wow, I'm such a loser" or not blame others when things don't go as expected.

Knowing what makes you happy and how to meet your goals can help you feel capable, strong, and in control of your life. A positive attitude and a healthy lifestyle (such as exercising and eating right) are a great combination for building good self-esteem.

Tips for Improving Body Image

Some people think they need to change how they look to feel good about themselves. But all you need to do is change the way you see your body and how you think about yourself. Here are some tips on doing that:

Recognize that your body is your own, no matter what shape or size it comes in. Try to focus on how strong and healthy your body is and the things it can do, not what's wrong with it or what you feel you want to change about it. If you're worried about your weight or size, check with your doctor to verify that things are OK. But it's no one's business but your own what your body is like — ultimately, you have to be happy with yourself.

Identify which aspects of your appearance you can realistically change and which you can't. Humans, by definition, are imperfect. It's what makes each of us unique and original! Everyone (even the most perfect-seeming celeb) has things that they can't change and need to accept — like their height, for example, or their shoe size. Remind yourself that "real people aren't perfect and perfect people aren't real (they're usually airbrushed!)".

If there are things about yourself that you want to change and can, do this by making goals for yourself. For example, if you want to get fit, make a plan to exercise every day and eat healthy. Then keep track of your progress until you reach your goal. Meeting a challenge you set for yourself is a great way to boost self-esteem!

When you hear negative comments coming from within, tell yourself to stop. Appreciate that each person is more than just how he or she looks on any given day. We're complex and constantly changing. Try to focus on what's unique and interesting about yourself.

Try building your self-esteem by giving yourself three compliments every day. While you're at it, every evening list three things in your day that really gave you pleasure. It can be anything from the way the sun felt on your face, the sound of your favorite band, or the way someone laughed at your jokes. By focusing on the good things you do and the positive aspects of your life, you can change how you feel about yourself.

Some people with physical disabilities or differences may feel they are not seen for their true selves because of their bodies and what they can and can't do. Other people may have such serious body image issues that they need a bit more help. Working with a counselor or therapist can help some people gain perspective and learn to focus on their individual strengths as well as develop healthier thinking.

Where Can I Go if I Need Help?

Sometimes low self-esteem and body image problems are too much to handle alone. A few teens may become depressed, and lose interest in activities or friends. Some go on to develop eating or body image disorders, and can become depressed or use alcohol or drugs to escape feelings of low worth.

If you're feeling this way, it can help to talk to a parent, coach, religious leader, guidance counselor, therapist, or friend. A trusted adult — someone who supports you and doesn't bring you down — can help you put your body image in perspective and give you positive feedback about your body, your skills, and your abilities.

If you can't turn to anyone you know, call a teen crisis hotline (an online search can give you the information for national and local hotlines). The most important thing is to get help if you feel like your body image and self-esteem are affecting your life.

Reviewed by: Michelle J. New, PhD
Date reviewed: March 2012

Source:  http://kidshealth.org/teen/food_fitness/wellbeing/body_image.html#

How is a Collective Paradigm Created?

 

Take a look around at our world and you will notice something very quickly. We do a lot of things that we never question. It’s as if many of the actions we do are robotic or mechanical. We repeat things that our parents taught us and when we ask them why it’s done they don’t even know. We repeat things we see on TV, learn in books or see in a movie because it all seems so normal. But how did all of this come about? How is it that we are doing things and don’t even know why? I once read this story about an experiment done with monkeys and it accurately depicts what humans have been doing for hundreds of years. I will post it below so you can check it out for yourself.

Mind Paradigm Created

 

Think about it, doesn’t this sound exactly like what we do here? We do things because of things that may have happened years ago and don’t even apply to us anymore. We never ask or question why it’s like that because we find it easier to be robotic than to think outside the box. Or is it that we have been educated into  not thinking outside of the box? Either way you look at it, I think it’s time we start moving ourselves out of mechanical mode and into free thinking mode.

Source:  http://www.collective-evolution.com/2012/08/03/how-is-a-collective-paradigm-created/

The Story Of Positive Thinking

We have all heard the slogans. “Think Positive!”, “Expect only the best outcomes!”, “Strive to be happy”, “Avoid negativity!”, “Put more effort in your intentions!” “Find happiness in what you have” or “Be careful with your thoughts, think negative and you’ll attract negativity. Think positive and…” you know the drill. 

Positive thinking has become quite popular amongst spiritual communities and even in the business world. It is a concept that pairs up the truth of our creator essence, and the desire to attract riches, success, happiness, the ideal partner, or even spiritual enlightenment. Some believe that in order to get rid of what we don’t want while attracting what we do want, we must pretend that our desired reality is already in play while ignoring the current challenges. Even when it comes to global change, I often hear people say that we must avoid looking at what doesn’t work in our world because it will perpetuate negativity, or that we must even “believe” or “pretend” that all challenges have already been overcome.

But let’s tune into the underlined key words that are often paired with this concept. Think, expect, strive, effort, happiness, positive, negative, avoid, want, have, success, believe, pretend, ideal, riches… PHEW!! Sounds like quite the mental workout. But what about… not getting what we want? Who are we then? Did we fail? Are we now afraid to face a version of ourselves that does not match our expectations? Must we push even harder to try and stay positive? Or will we be pulled down into negativity and be forever lost?

Notice how agitated and demanding these thoughts and concepts feel in the body. Instead of allowing you to be as you are, they push you to act in a certain way, to force/avoid thoughts, to chase an “ideal”, to fear the “worst” case scenario… But thoughts create reality, right? You think what you want, you get what you want, is that it?

Sure, we can try to avoid or shape this moment all we want and believe that this is how you create your ‘ideal’ reality. But if we want to know what truly creates our reality, we must ask ourselves the right questions. What can’t we accept about this moment? What is the story behind our ideals? Must we constantly be in an effortful chase mode, want mode, pretend mode or faith mode to feel good about ourselves? Why can’t we feel at peace right here and right now?

The truth is, there can be a belief system or a suppressed emotional baggage behind our thoughts and desires. And THAT is what creates our experience. That is what ‘the secret’ won’t tell you. That is where we must inquire further.

• Why should we put so much effort in creating happiness? Is this our natural state? Or is it because we are we unhappy with ourselves when dropping all effort or with the idea of not getting to where we ‘want’ to be?
• Why should we hold on to so many expectations? Is this our natural state? Or is it because we would we be devastated when facing an outcome that would not match our expectations?
• Why must we find happiness in what we HAVE? Is this our natural state? Or is it because we cannot just be happy and at peace with what we ARE?
• Why should we attach ourselves to the ‘positive’ polarity? Is this our natural state? Or is this because we are holding judgment towards the opposite polarity and are afraid of facing hidden negative charges within us?

Notice how our minds have been programmed to avoid uncomfortable feelings. Many people will reach out for television, alcohol, partying, food or credit cards to avoid facing them. Positive thinking goes right in the list. It is just another way to focus ‘out there’ and not have to look at the feeling.

“An uncomfortable feeling is like a compassionate alarm clock that says, “You’re in the dream.” It’s time to inquire, that’s all. But if we don’t honor the alarm clock, then we try to alter and manipulate the feeling by reaching into an apparent external world.” – Byron Katie

Self-policing our way to “happiness” is no different than walking on eggshells. If we don’t get to reach our “happy happy” goal or emotional state, we then see ourselves as a failure and jump into an opposite polarity (e.g. sadness, dissapointment, frustration, depression). But does it really feel natural to live your life on such a fine line between highs and lows, between contentment and discontentment?

So let’s drop our ideas of polarity, of one being better than the other, and of the two being the only states that exist. Have you ever heard of peace? Not the “happy” or “satisfied” feeling of the ego having accomplished a goal or met an expectation, but the peace that holds no condition. The peace that underlies all of the mind’s illusory fears, identities, roles and belief systems. The peace that is who you already are.

Positive thinking, negative thinking, expectations, needs… all of these are simply effortful mind stories that pull us away from experiencing the only thing that is real: the totality and beauty of the present moment AS IT IS. As the tibetan saying goes, “When you have one eye on the goal, you only have one eye on the path”. When we create such a strict path for ourselves and fill our minds with conditions, rules and expectations, we greatly narrow our possibilities to grow and experience the totality of what this moment has to offer. We strive towards a goal that we often set up only to avoid what could be our best teachers, the very personal challenges that we need to face for our own evolution.

And guess what happens when we try to avoid what challenges us? It keeps happening. The teachers keep coming, the button pushers keep poking, and the fire keeps burning until we get rid of our own gasoline.

The whole idea of positive thinking actually programs us to miss out on the beautiful lessons, healing and expansion that occurs when we allow ourselves to face the darkness and negative charges within us. It perpetuates the belief that the “negative” is to avoid and the “positive” is to praise, when in reality, both are equal experiences that the soul has been using to play, learn and finally discover that it is not defined by either. It is once we let go of our attachment to polarity, that we transmute them both back into peace.

“Staying positive is just as effortful and draining as staying negative. Both require maintenance. True inner-peace, however, needs no story or concept to maintain itself. Peace is who and what you already are.” 

Observe the image above. Who looks more free, limitless and at peace? The one who allows himself to experience the full spectrum of his environment, or the one who restricts himself to only a fine line? That right there should be enough to debunk the myth of “positive thinking”.

Breathe… let go… and just BE!

“I went through that stage where I forced myself to be happy all the time. But when I actually gave up on it, that is when I found peace.” – Anonymous

Love,
Elina 

Source:  http://www.collective-evolution.com/2012/08/03/the-story-of-positive-thinking/

Study Questions with Answers - Part Eight

71. What is the imagination?

A form of constructive thought. The light by which we penetrate new worlds of thought and experience. The mighty instrument by which every inventor or discoverer opened the way from precedent to experience.

72. What is the result of imagination?

The cultivation of the imagination leads to the development of the ideal out of which your future will emerge.

73. How may it be cultivated?

By exercise; it must be supplied with nourishment or it cannot live.

74. How does imagination differ from daydreaming?

Day dreaming is a form of mental dissipation, while imagination is a form of constructive thought which must precede every constructive action.

75. What are mistakes?

The result of ignorance.

76. What is knowledge?

The result of man's ability to think.

77. What is the power with which successful men build?

Mind is the very moving force with which they secure the persons and circumstances necessary to complete their plans.

78. What pre-determines the result?

The ideal held steadily in mind attracts the necessary conditions for its fulfillment.

79. What is the result of a keen analytical observation?

The development of imagination, insight, perception and sagacity.

80. To what do these lead?

Opulence and harmony.

Source:  http://www.psitek.net/pages/PsiTekTMKS18.html

The Master Key System - Part Eight

 

In this Part you will find that you may freely choose what you think but the result of your thought is governed by an immutable law! Is not this a wonderful thought? Is it not wonderful to know that our lives are not subject to caprice or variability of any kind? That they are governed by law. This stability is our opportunity, because by complying with the law we can secure the desired effect with invariable precision.

It is the Law which makes the Universe one grand paean of Harmony. If it were not for law, the Universe would be a Chaos instead of a Cosmos.

Here, then, is the secret of the origin of both good and evil, this is all the good and evil there ever was or ever will be.

Let me illustrate. Thought results in action, if your thought is constructive and harmonious, the result will be good; if your thought is destructive or inharmonious, the result will be evil.

There is therefore but one law, one principle, on cause, one Source of Power, and good and evil are simply words which have been coined to indicate the result of our action, or our compliance or non-compliance with this law.

The importance of this is well illustrated in the lives of Emerson and Carlyle. Emerson loved the good and his life was a symphony of peace and harmony, Carlyle hated the bad, and his life was a record of perpetual discord and inharmony.

Here we have two grand men, each intent upon achieving the same ideal, but one makes use of constructive thought and is therefore in harmony with Natural Law, the other makes use of destructive thought and therefore brings upon himself discord of every kind and character.

It is evident therefore that we are to hate nothing, not even the "bad," because hatred is destructive, and we shall soon find that by entertaining destructive thought we are sowing the "wind" and in turn shall reap the "whirlwind."

 

PART EIGHT

1. Thought contains a vital principle, because it is the creative principle of the Universe and by its nature will combine with other similar thoughts.

2. As the one purpose of life is growth, all principles underlying existence must contribute to give it effect. Thought, therefore, takes form and the law of growth eventually brings it into manifestation. 

3. You may freely choose what you think, but the result of your thought is governed by an immutable law. Any line of thought persisted in cannot fail to produce its result in the character, health and circumstances of the individual. Methods whereby we can substitute habits of constructive thinking for those which we have found produce only undesirable effects are therefore of primary importance. 

4. We all know that this is by no means easy. Mental habits are difficult to control, but it can be done and the way to do it is to begin at once to substitute constructive thought for destructive thought. Form the habit of analyzing every thought. If it is necessary, if its manifestation in the objective will be a benefit, not only to yourself, but to all whom it may affect in any way, keep it; treasure it; it is of value; it is in tune with the Infinite; it will grow and develop and produce fruit an hundred fold. On the other hand, it will be well for you to keep this quotation from George Matthews Adams, in mind, "Learn to keep the door shut, keep out of your mind, out of your office, and out of your world, every element that seeks admittance with no definite helpful end in view."

5. If your thought has been critical or destructive, and has resulted in any condition of discord or inharmony in your environment, it may be necessary for you to cultivate a mental attitude which will be conducive to constructive thought. 

6. The imagination will be found to be a great assistance in this direction; the cultivation of the imagination leads to the development of the ideal out of which your future will emerge.

7. The imagination gathers up the material by which the Mind weaves the fabric in which your future is to be clothed.

8. Imagination is the light by which we can penetrate new worlds of thought and experience. 

9. Imagination is the mighty instrument by which every discoverer, every inventor, opened the way from precedent to experience. Precedent said, "It cannot be done;" experience said, "It is done." 

10. Imagination is a plastic power, molding the things of sense into new forms and ideals.

11. Imagination is the constructive form of thought which must precede every constructive form of action. 

12. A builder cannot build a structure of any kind until he has first received the plans from the architect, and the architect must get them from his imagination.

13. The Captain of Industry cannot build a giant corporation which may coordinate hundreds of smaller corporations and thousands of employees, and utilize millions of dollars of capital until he has first created the entire work in his imagination. Objects in the material world are as clay in the potter's hand; it is in the Master Mind that the real things are created, and it is by the use of the imagination that the work is done. In order to cultivate the imagination it must be exercised. Exercise is necessary to cultivate mental muscle as well as physical muscle. It must be supplied with nourishment or it cannot grow.

14. Do not confuse Imagination with Fancy, or that form of daydreaming in which some people like to indulge. Daydreaming is a form of mental dissipation which may lead to mental disaster. 

15. Constructive imagination means mental labor, by some considered to be the hardest kind of labor, but, if so, it yields the greatest returns, for all the great things in life have come to men and women who had the capacity to think, to imagine, and to make their dreams come true. 

16. When you have become thoroughly conscious of the fact that Mind is the only creative principle, that it is Omnipotent, Omniscient and Omnipresent, and that you can consciously come into harmony with this Omnipotence through your power of thought, you will have taken a long step in the right direction.

17. The next step is to place yourself in position to receive this power. As it is Omnipresent, it must be within you. We know that this is so because we know that all power is from within, but it must be developed, unfolded, cultivated; in order to do this we must be receptive, and this receptivity is acquired just as physical strength is gained, by exercise. 

18. The law of attraction will certainly and unerringly bring to you the conditions, environment, and experiences in life, corresponding with your habitual, characteristic, predominant mental attitude. Not what you think once in a while when you are in church, or have just read a good book, BUT your predominant mental attitude is what counts. 

19. You can not entertain weak, harmful, negative thoughts ten hours a day and expect to bring about beautiful, strong and harmonious conditions by ten minutes of strong, positive, creative thought.

20. Real power comes from within. All power that anybody can possibly use is within man, only waiting to be brought into visibility by his first recognizing it, and then affirming it as his, working it into his consciousness until he becomes one with it. 

21. People say that they desire abundant life, and so they do, but so many interpret this to mean that if they will exercise their muscles or breathe scientifically, eat certain foods in certain ways, drink so many glasses of water every day of just a certain temperature, keep out of drafts, they will attain the abundant life they seek. The result of such methods is but indifferent. However, when man awakens to the truth, and affirms his oneness with all Life, he finds that he takes on the clear eye, the elastic step, the vigor of youth; he finds that he has discovered the source of all power. 

22. All mistakes are but the mistakes of ignorance. Knowledge gaining and consequent power is what determines growth and evolution. The recognition and demonstration of knowledge is what constitutes power, and this power is spiritual power, and this spiritual power is the power which lies at the heart of all things; it is the soul of the universe.

23. This knowledge is the result of man's ability to think; thought is therefore the germ of man's conscious evolution. When man ceases to advance in his thoughts and ideals, his forces immediately begin to disintegrate and his countenance gradually registers these changing conditions. 

24. Successful men make it their business to hold ideals of the conditions which they wish to realize. They constantly hold in mind the next step necessary to the ideal for which they are striving. Thoughts are the materials with which they build, and the imagination is their mental workshop. Mind is the ever-moving force with which they secure the persons and circumstance necessary to build their success structure, and imagination is the matrix in which all great things are fashioned. 

25. If you have been faithful to your ideal, you will hear the call when circumstances are ready to materialize your plans and results will correspond in the exact ratio of your fidelity to your ideal. The ideal steadily held is what pre-determines and attracts the necessary conditions for its fulfillment.

26. It is thus that you may weave a garment of spirit and power into the web of your entire existence; it is thus that you may lead a charmed life and be forever protected from all harm; it is thus that you may become a positive force whereby conditions of opulence and harmony may be attracted to you. 

27. This is the leaven which is gradually permeating the general consciousness and is largely responsible for the conditions of unrest which are everywhere evident.

28. In the last Part you created a mental image, you brought it from the invisible into the visible; this week I want you to take an object and follow it back to its origination, see of what it really consists. If you do this you will develop imagination, insight, perception, and sagacity. These come not by the superficial observation of the multitude, but by a keen analytical observation which sees below the surface.

29. It is the few who know that the things which they see are only effects, and understand the causes by which these effects were brought into existence. 

30. Take the same position as heretofore and visualize a Battleship; see the grim monster floating on the surface of the water; there appears to be no life anywhere about; all is silence; you know that by far the largest part of the vessel is under water; out of sight; you know that the ship is as large and as heavy as a twenty-story skyscraper; you know that there are hundreds of men ready to spring to their appointed task instantly; you know that every department is in charge of able, trained, skilled officials who have proven themselves competent to take charge of this marvelous piece of mechanism; you know that although it lies apparently oblivious to everything else, it has eyes which see everything for miles around, and nothing is permitted to escape its watchful vision; you know that while it appears quiet, submissive and innocent, it is prepared to hurl a steel projectile weighing thousands of pounds at an enemy many miles away; this and much more you can bring to mind with comparatively no effort whatever. But how did the battleship come to be where it is; how did it come into existence in the first place? All of this you want to know if you are a careful observer. 

31. Follow the great steel plates through the foundries, see the thousands of men employed in their production; go still further back, and see the ore as it comes from the mine, see it loaded on barges or cars, see it melted and properly treated; go back still further and see the architect and engineers who planned the vessel; let the thought carry you back still further in order to determine why they planned the vessel; you will see that you are now so far back that the vessel is something intangible, it no longer exists, it is now only a thought existing in the brain of the architect; but from where did the order come to plan the vessel? Probably from the Secretary of Defense; but probably this vessel was planned long before the war was thought of, and that Congress had to pass a bill appropriating the money; possibly there was opposition, and speeches for or against the bill. Whom do these Congressmen represent? They represent you and me, so that our line of thought begins with the Battleship and ends with ourselves, and we find in the last analysis that our own thought is responsible for this and many other things, of which we seldom think, and a little further reflection will develop the most important fact of all and that is, if someone had not discovered the law by which this tremendous mass of steel and iron could be made to float upon the water, instead of immediately going to the bottom, the battleship could not have come into existence at all.

32. This law is that, "the specific gravity of any substance is the weight of any volume of it, compared with an equal volume of water." The discovery of this law revolutionized every kind of ocean travel, commerce and warfare, and made the existence of the battleship, aircraft carriers, and cruise ships possible. 

33. You will find exercises of this kind invaluable. When the thought has been trained to look below the surface everything takes on a different appearance, the insignificant becomes significant, the uninteresting interesting; the things which we supposed to be of no importance are seen to be the only really vital things in existence.

Look To This Day For it is Life, the very Life of Life. In Its brief course lie all the Verities and Realities of your existence; The Bliss of Growth; The Glory of Action; The Splendor of Beauty; For Yesterday is but a Dream, And tomorrow is only a Vision: But Today well lived makes every Yesterday a Dream of Happiness, and Every Tomorrow a Vision of Hope. Look well, therefore, to This Day!

From the Sanskrit

Source: http://www.psitek.net/pages/PsiTekTMKS17.html