Sleep Problems in Teens

Most teens don't get enough sleep, usually because their schedules are overloaded or they spend too much time texting or chatting on the computer with friends until the wee hours of the morning. Other teens try to go to sleep early, but sleep problems prevent them from doing so.

Over time, nights of missed sleep (whether they're caused by a sleep disorder or simply not scheduling enough time for the necessary ZZZs) can build into a sleep deficit. Teens with a sleep deficit are unable to concentrate, study, and work effectively. They can also experience emotional problems, like depression.

What Happens During Sleep?

As we sleep, our brains pass through five stages of sleep. Together, stages 1, 2, 3, 4, and REM (rapid eye movement) sleep make up a sleep cycle. One complete sleep cycle lasts about 90 to 100 minutes. So during an average night's sleep, a person will experience about four or five cycles of sleep.

Stages 1 and 2 are periods of light sleep from which a person can easily be awakened. During these stages, eye movements slow down and eventually stop, heart and breathing rates slow down, and body temperature decreases. Stages 3 and 4 are deep sleep stages. It's more difficult to awaken someone during these stages, and when awakened, a person will often feel groggy and disoriented for a few minutes. Stages 3 and 4 are the most refreshing of the sleep stages — it is this type of sleep that we crave when we are very tired.

The final stage of the sleep cycle is known as REM sleep because of the rapid eye movements that occur during this stage. During REM sleep, other physical changes take place — breathing becomes rapid, the heart beats faster, and the limb muscles don't move. This is the stage of sleep when a person has the most vivid dreams.

What Prevents an Early Bedtime?

Research shows that teens need 8½ to 9½ hours of sleep a night. So, a teen who wakes up for school at 6 a.m. would have to go to bed at 9 p.m. to reach the 9-hour mark. Studies have found that many teens have trouble falling asleep that early, though. It's not because they don't want to sleep. It's because their brains naturally work on later schedules and aren't ready for bed.

During adolescence, the body's circadian rhythm (an internal biological clock) is reset, telling a teen to fall asleep later at night and wake up later in the morning. This change in the circadian rhythm seems to be due to the fact that the brain hormone melatonin is produced later at night in teens than it is for kids and adults, making it harder for teens to fall asleep.

Sometimes this delay in the sleep-wake cycle is so severe that it affects a person's daily functioning. In those cases it's called delayed sleep phase syndrome.

Changes in the body clock aren't the only reason teens lose sleep, though. Read on to learn about some of the biggest causes of sleep deprivation.

Insomnia

Lots of us have insomnia (trouble falling or staying asleep). The most common cause of insomnia is stress. But all sorts of things can lead to insomnia, including physical discomfort (the stuffy nose of a cold or the pain of a headache, for example), emotional troubles (like family problems or relationship difficulties), and even an uncomfortable sleeping environment (a room that's too hot, cold, or noisy).

It's common for teenagers to have insomnia from time to time. But if insomnia lasts for a month or longer with no relief, doctors consider it chronic. Chronic insomnia can be caused by a number of different problems, including medical conditions, mental-health problems, medication side effects, or substance abuse. Teens with chronic insomnia can often get help for their condition from a doctor, therapist, or other counselor.

For some, insomnia can be made worse by worrying about the insomnia itself. A brief period of insomnia can build into something longer lasting when someone becomes anxious about not sleeping or worried about feeling tired the next day. Doctors call this psychophysiologic insomnia.

Periodic Limb Movement Disorder and Restless Legs Syndrome

Teens with these conditions find their sleep is disrupted by leg (or, less frequently, arm) movements, leaving them tired or irritable from lack of sleep.

In the case of periodic limb movement disorder (PLMD), these movements are involuntary twitches or jerks: They're called involuntary because the person isn't consciously controlling them and is often unaware of the movement.

Teens with restless legs syndrome (RLS) actually feel physical sensations in their limbs, such as tingling, itching, cramping, or burning. The only way they can relieve these feelings is by moving their legs or arms to get rid of the discomfort.

Doctors can treat PLMD and RLS with medications. For some teens, treating an iron deficiency can make the conditions go away.

Obstructive Sleep Apnea

This sleep disorder causes a person to stop breathing temporarily during sleep. One common cause of obstructive sleep apnea is enlarged tonsils or adenoids (tissues located in the passage that connects the nose and throat). Being overweight or obese also can lead someone to develop obstructive sleep apnea.

Teens with obstructive sleep apnea might snore, have difficulty breathing, and even sweat heavily during sleep. Because it disrupts sleep, someone with sleep apnea may feel extremely sleepy or irritable during the day.

Treatment is available for teens with sleep apnea. Those who show signs of the condition, such as loud snoring or excessive daytime sleepiness, should be evaluated by a doctor.

Reflux

Gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD) is another common culprit of sleep loss. With GERD, stomach acids move backward up into the esophagus, producing the uncomfortable, burning sensation known as heartburn.

GERD symptoms can be worse when a person is lying down. Even if someone doesn't notice the feelings of heartburn during sleep, the discomfort it causes can still interfere with the sleep cycle. Some people find they are better able to sleep by lying in an elevated position or by taking medications.

If your teen suffers from GERD, it could be interfering with his or her sleep. Talk to a doctor about treatment options or lifestyle changes, such as changes in diet.

Nightmares

Most teens have nightmares on occasion. But frequent nightmares can disrupt sleep patterns by waking someone during the night.

Some things can trigger more frequent nightmares, including certain medications, drugs, or alcohol. Ironically, sleep deprivation also can be a cause. The most common triggers for more frequent nightmares are emotional, such as stress or anxiety.

If nightmares are interfering with your teen's sleep, consider consulting a doctor, therapist, or other counselor.

Narcolepsy

Teens with narcolepsy are often very sleepy during the day and have sleep "attacks" that may make them suddenly fall asleep, lose muscle control, or see vivid dreamlike images while dozing off or waking up. Nighttime sleep may be disrupted, with frequent awakenings throughout the night.

Narcolepsy can be disturbing because teens fall asleep without warning, making it hazardous to do things like ride a bike or drive. A teens's schooling, work, or social life can be affected by the unusual sleep patterns.

Narcolepsy is not commonly diagnosed in teens, although many cases go unrecognized. People usually begin to have symptoms between the ages of 10 and 25, but might not be properly diagnosed until 10-15 years later. Doctors usually treat narcolepsy with medications and lifestyle changes.

Sleepwalking

It's rare for teens to walk in their sleep; most sleepwalkers are children. Sleepwalking may run in families. It tends to happen most often when a person is sick, has a fever, is not getting enough sleep, or is feeling stress.

Because most sleepwalkers don't sleepwalk often, it's not usually a serious problem. Sleepwalkers tend to go back to bed on their own and don't usually remember sleepwalking. (Sleepwalking often happens during the deeper sleep that takes place during stages 3 and 4 of the sleep cycle.)

Sometimes, though, a sleepwalker will need help moving around obstacles and getting back to bed. It's also true that waking sleepwalkers can startle them (but it isn't harmful), so try to guide a sleepwalker back to bed gently.

How to Help

If your teen seems to be getting enough rest at night but is still feeling tired during the day, it's a good idea to visit the doctor. Excessive tiredness can be caused by all sorts of health problems, not just difficulties with sleep.

If a sleep problem is suspected, the doctor will evaluate your teen's overall health and sleep habits. In addition to doing a physical examination, the doctor will take a medical history by asking about any concerns and symptoms your teen has, and about his or her past health, your family's health, and any medications your teen is taking. The doctor may also do tests to find out whether any conditions — such as obstructive sleep apnea — might be interfering with sleep.

Different sleep problems are treated differently. Some can be treated with medications, whereas others can be helped by special techniques such as light therapy (where someone sits in front of a lightbox for a certain amount of time each day) or other practices that can help reset a person's body clock.

When teens have sleep problems, doctors often encourage them to make lifestyle changes — like turning off the cell phone or computer before bed, cutting down on caffeine, or avoiding violent video games or movies at night — to promote good sleeping habits.

Reviewed by: Mary L. Gavin, MD
Date reviewed: May 2011

Source:  http://kidshealth.org/parent/growth/sleep/sleep_problems.html#

All About Sleep

Sleep — or lack of it — is probably the most-discussed aspect of baby care. New parents discover its vital importance those first few weeks and months. The quality and quantity of an infant's sleep affects the well-being of everyone in the household.

And sleep struggles rarely end with a growing child's move from crib to bed. It simply changes form. Instead of cries, it's pleas or refusals. Instead of a feeding at 3:00 AM, it's a nightmare or request for water.

So how do you get your child to bed through the cries, screams, avoidance tactics, and pleas? How should you respond when you're awakened in the middle of the night? And how much sleep is enough for your kids?

How Much Is Enough?

It all depends on a child's age. Charts that list the hours of sleep likely to be required by an infant or a 2-year-old may cause concern when individual differences aren't considered. These numbers are simply averages reported for large groups of kids of particular ages.

There's no magical number of hours required by all kids in a certain age group. Two-year-old Sarah might sleep from 8:00 PM to 8:00 AM, whereas 2-year-old Johnny is just as alert the next day after sleeping from 9:00 PM to 6:00 AM.

Still, sleep is very important to kids' well-being. The link between a lack of sleep and a child's behavior isn't always obvious. When adults are tired, they can be grumpy or have low energy, but kids can become hyper, disagreeable, and have extremes in behavior.

Most kids' sleep requirements fall within a predictable range of hours based on their age, but each child is a unique individual with distinct sleep needs.

Here are some approximate numbers based on age, accompanied by age-appropriate pro-sleep tactics.

Babies (up to 6 Months)

There is no sleep formula for newborns because their internal clocks aren't fully developed yet. They generally sleep or drowse for 16 to 20 hours a day, divided about equally between night and day.

Newborns should be awakened every 3 to 4 hours until their weight gain is established, which typically happens within the first couple of weeks. After that, it's OK if a baby sleeps for longer periods of time. But don't get your slumber hopes up just yet — most infants won't snooze for extended periods of time because they get hungry.

After the first couple of weeks, infants may sleep for as long as 4 or 5 hours — this is about how long their small bellies can go between feedings. If babies do sleep a good stretch at night, they may want to nurse or get the bottle more frequently during the day.

Just when parents feel that sleeping through the night seems like a far-off dream, their baby's sleep time usually begins to shift toward night. At 3 months, a baby averages about 13 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period (4-5 hours of sleep during the day broken into several naps and 8-9 hours at night, usually with an interruption or two). About 90% of babies this age sleep through the night, meaning 5 to 6 hours in a row.

But it's important to recognize that babies aren't always awake when they sound like they are; they can cry and make all sorts of other noises during light sleep. Even if they do wake up in the night, they may only be awake for a few minutes before falling asleep again on their own.

If a baby under 6 months old continues to cry, it's time to respond. Your baby may be genuinely uncomfortable: hungry, wet, cold, or even sick. But routine nighttime awakenings for changing and feeding should be as quick and quiet as possible. Don't provide any unnecessary stimulation, such as talking, playing, or turning on the lights. Encourage the idea that nighttime is for sleeping. You have to teach this because your baby doesn't care what time it is as long as his or her needs are met.

Ideally, your baby should be placed in the crib before falling asleep. And it's not too early to establish a simple bedtime routine. Any soothing activities, performed consistently and in the same order each night, can make up the routine. Your baby will associate these with sleeping, and they'll help him or her wind down.

The goal is for babies to fall asleep independently, and to learn to soothe themselves and go back to sleep if they should wake up in the middle of the night.

6 to 12 Months

At 6 months, an infant may nap about 3 hours during the day and sleep about 9 to 11 hours at night. At this age, you can begin to change your response to an infant who awakens and cries during the night.

Parents can give babies a little more time to settle down on their own and go back to sleep. If they don't, comfort them without picking them up (talk softly, rub their backs), then leave — unless they appear to be sick. Sick babies need to be picked up and cared for. If your baby doesn't seem sick and continues to cry, you can wait a little longer, then repeat the short crib-side visit.

Between 6 and 12 months, separation anxiety, a normal developmental phase, comes into play. But the rules for nighttime awakenings are the same through a baby's first birthday: Try not to pick up your baby, turn on the lights, sing, talk, play, or feed your child. All of these activities do not allow your baby to learn to fall asleep on his or her own and encourage repeat awakenings.

Toddlers

From ages 1 to 3, most toddlers sleep about 10 to 13 hours. Separation anxiety, or just the desire to be up with mom and dad (and not miss anything), can motivate a child to stay awake. So can simple toddler-style contrariness.

Parents sometimes make the mistake of thinking that keeping a child up will make him or her sleepier for bedtime. In fact, though, kids can have a harder time sleeping if they're overtired. Set regular bedtimes and naptimes. Though most toddlers take naps during the day, you don't have to force your child to nap. But it's important to schedule some quiet time, even if your child chooses not to sleep.

Establishing a bedtime routine helps kids relax and get ready for sleep. For a toddler, the routine may be from 15 to 30 minutes long and include calming activities such as reading a story, bathing, and listening to soft music.

Whatever the nightly ritual is, your toddler will probably insist that it be the same every night. Just don't allow rituals to become too long or too complicated. Whenever possible, allow your toddler to make bedtime choices within the routine: which pajamas to wear, which stuffed animal to take to bed, what music to play. This gives your little one a sense of control over the routine.

But even the best sleepers give parents an occasional wake-up call. Teething can awaken a toddler and so can dreams. Active dreaming begins at this age, and for very young children, dreams can be pretty alarming. Nightmares are particularly frightening to a toddler, who can't distinguish imagination from reality. (So carefully select what TV programs, if any, your toddler sees before bedtime.)

Comfort and hold your child at these times. Let your toddler talk about the dream if he or she wants to, and stay until your child is calm. Then encourage your child to go back to sleep as soon as possible.

Preschoolers

Preschoolers sleep about 10 to 12 hours per night. A preschool child who gets adequate rest at night may no longer needs a daytime nap. Instead, a quiet time may be substituted.

Most nursery schools and kindergartens have quiet periods when the kids lie on mats or just rest. As kids give up their naps, bedtimes may come earlier than during the toddler years.

School-Age Children and Preteens

School-age kids need 10 to 12 hours of sleep a night. Bedtime difficulties can arise at this age for a variety of reasons. Homework, sports and after-school activities, TVs, computers, and video games, as well as hectic family schedules might contribute to kids not getting enough sleep.

Lack of sleep can cause irritable or hyper types of behavior and may make it difficult for kids to pay attention in school. It is important to have a consistent bedtime, especially on school nights. Be sure to leave enough time before bed to allow your child to unwind before lights out.

Teens

Adolescents need about 8½ to 9½ hours of sleep per night, but many don't get it. Because of early school start times on top of schedules packed with school, homework, friends, and activities, they're typically chronically sleep deprived.

And sleep deprivation adds up over time, so an hour less per night is like a full night without sleep by the end of the week. Among other things, an insufficient amount of sleep can lead to:

• decreased attentiveness
• decreased short-term memory
• inconsistent performance
• delayed response time

These can cause bad tempers, problems in school, stimulant use, and driving accidents (more than half of "asleep-at-the-wheel" car accidents are caused by teens).

Teens also experience a change in their sleep patterns — their bodies want to stay up late and wake up later, which often leads to them trying to catch up on sleep during the weekend. This sleep schedule irregularity can actually aggravate the problems and make getting to sleep at a reasonable hour during the week even harder.

Ideally, a teen should try to go to bed at the same time every night and wake up at the same time every morning, allowing for at least 8 to 9 hours of sleep.

Bedtime Routines

No matter what your child's age, establish a bedtime routine that encourages good sleep habits. These tips can help kids ease into a good night's sleep:

• Include a winding-down period in the routine.
• Stick to a bedtime, alerting your child both half an hour and 10 minutes beforehand.
• Encourage older kids and teens to set and maintain a bedtime that allows for the full hours of sleep needed at their age.

Reviewed by: Mary L. Gavin, MD
Date reviewed: January 2011

Source:  http://kidshealth.org/parent/growth/sleep/sleep.html#

Sleep Tips and Advice (BBC)

Do you like to have a weekend lie-in or a nightcap before going to bed? These habits could actually be harming your sleep.

Relax your mind

• Simple breathing exercises can help. Breathe, using your abdomen not your chest, through your nose for three seconds, then breathe out for three seconds. Pause for three seconds before breathing in again. Practise this for ten minutes at night (five minutes is better than nothing).
• Some people find that lavender oil, valerian or other herbs help them to sleep.
• If you still have problems, you could try massage, aromatherapy, or even acupuncture.
• If you still find yourself tossing and turning, abandon the bedroom and find something enjoyable and absorbing to do. Jigsaws are perfect. Don't go back to bed until you begin to feel sleepy.

Exercise regularly

• Regular exercise is a great way to improve your sleep. Just be careful not to do it close to bed time as exercise produces stimulants that stop the brain from relaxing quickly.
• This being the case, exercising in the morning is an excellent way to wake up the body. Going for a run or doing some aerobics releases stimulants into the body, which perks you up.
• If you are injured or disabled, you can still benefit from exercise. Check out disability exercise tips.

Create a calm bedroom environment

• Your bedroom should be for sleep only. Avoid turning it into an entertainment centre with televisions, computers and stereos.
• Two thirds of British children have a computer, games machine or TV in their bedroom and could be losing out on sleep as a result.

Avoid alcohol

• It's fine to have a nightcap, but too much alcohol can make you restless. Alcohol is also a diuretic, which means it encourages you to urinate (never welcomed during the night).
• Drinking is also more likely to lead to snoring, which can restrict airflow into the lungs. This reduces oxygen in your blood which disturbs your sleep and contributes to your hangover.

Avoid caffeine

• Caffeine is a stimulant which can stay in your system for many hours. So avoid sources of caffeine such as coffee, chocolate, cola drinks and non-herbal teas.

Watch what you eat

• Eating a large heavy meal too close to bedtime will interfere with your sleep.
• Spicy or fatty foods may cause heartburn, which leads to difficulty in falling asleep and discomfort throughout the night.
• Foods containing tyramine (bacon, cheese, ham, aubergines, pepperoni, raspberries avocado, nuts, soy sauce, red wine) might keep you awake at night. Tyramine causes the release of norepinephrine, a brain stimulant.
• If you get the munchies close to bedtime, eat something that triggers the hormone serotonin, which makes you sleepy. Carbohydrates such as bread or cereal will do the trick.

Set a regular bedtime and wake up time

• Create a habit of going to bed and waking up at the same time each day, even on weekends. This helps anchor your body clock to these times. Resisting the urge for a lie-in can pay dividends in alertness.
• If you feel you haven't slept well, resist the urge to sleep in longer than normal; getting up on schedule keeps your body in its normal wake-up routine.
• Remember, even after only four hours, the brain has gained many of the important benefits of sleep.

It's only natural

• Most of us have a natural dip in alertness between 2 - 4pm.
• A 15 minute nap when you're tired can be a very effective way of staying alert throughout the day. Avoid napping for longer than 20 minutes, after which you will enter deep sleep and feel even worse when you wake up.

See a doctor if your problem continues

• If you have trouble falling asleep night after night, or if you always feel tired the next day, you might have a sleep disorder. It is advisable to seek more advice from your doctor. Most sleep disorders can be treated effectively.

Source:  http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/sleep/articles/advicetips.shtml

When a Pet Dies

For most kids, pets are more than just animals their families own — they're members of the family and the best of friends.

Unfortunately, the joy of owning a pet goes hand-in-hand with the heartbreak of losing one, whether because of old age, illness, or an accident.

And that can be very difficult. After all, family pets often are the first to greet kids in the morning and after school. Your pet may be the one your child looks to for comfort and companionship when ill or feeling unpopular or upset.

While it's impossible to shelter kids from the loss of a pet, you can help them cope with it. And because a pet's death might be their first time losing a loved one, the grieving process can help kids learn how to cope with other losses throughout life.

Sharing the News and the Grief

One of the most difficult parts about losing a pet may be breaking the bad news to kids. Try to do so one-on-one in a place where they feel safe and comfortable and not easily distracted.

As you would with any tough issue, try to gauge how much information kids need to hear based on their age, maturity level, and life experience.

If your pet is very old or has a lingering illness, consider talking to kids before the death occurs. If you have to euthanize your pet, you may want to explain that:

• the veterinarians have done everything that they can
• your pet would never get better
• this is the kindest way to take the pet's pain away
• the pet will die peacefully, without feeling hurt or scared

Again, a child's age, maturity level, and questions will help determine whether to offer a clear and simple explanation for what's going to happen. If so, it's OK to use words like "death" and "dying" or to say something like "The veterinarian will give our pet a shot that first puts it to sleep and then stops the heart from beating." Many kids want a chance to say goodbye beforehand, and some may be old enough or emotionally mature enough to be there to comfort the pet during the process.

If you do have to euthanize your pet, be careful about saying the animal went "to sleep" or "got put to sleep." Young kids tend to interpret events literally, so this can conjure up scary misconceptions about sleep or surgery and anesthesia.

If the pet's death is more sudden, calmly explain what has happened. Be brief, and let your child's questions guide how much information you provide.

Sticking to the Truth

Avoid trying to gloss over the event with a lie. Telling a child that "Buster ran away" or "Max went on a trip" is not a good idea. It probably won't alleviate the sadness about losing the pet, and if the truth does come out, your child will probably be angry that you lied.

If asked what happens to the pet after it dies, draw on your own understanding of death, including, if relevant, the viewpoint of your faith. And since none of us knows fully, an honest "I don't know" certainly can be an appropriate answer — it's OK to tell kids that death is a mystery.

Helping Your Child Cope

Like anyone dealing with a loss, kids usually feel a variety of emotions besides sadness after the death of a pet. They might experience loneliness, anger if the pet was euthanized, frustration that the pet couldn't get better, or guilt about times that they were mean to or didn't care for the pet as promised.

Help kids understand that it's natural to feel all of those emotions, that it's OK to not want to talk about them at first, and that you're there when they are ready to talk.

Don't feel compelled to hide your own sadness about losing a pet. Showing how you feel and talking about it openly sets an example for kids. You show that it's OK to feel sad when you lose a loved one, to talk about your feelings, and to cry when you feel sad. And it's comforting to kids to know that they're not alone in feeling sad. Share stories about the pets you had — and lost — when you were young and how difficult it was to say goodbye.

Moving On

After the shock of the news has faded, it's important to help your child heal and move on.

It can help kids to find special ways to remember a pet. You might have a ceremony to bury your pet or just share memories of fun times you had together. Write a prayer together or offer thoughts on what the pet meant to each family member. Share stories of your pet's funny moments or escapades. Offer lots of loving hugs. You could do a project, too, like making a scrapbook.

Keep in mind that grieving over the loss of a pet, particularly for a child, is similar to grieving over a person. For kids, losing a pet who offered love and companionship can be much more difficult than losing a distant relative. You might have to explain that to friends, family members, or others who don't own pets or don't understand that.

Perhaps most important, talk about your pet, often and with love. Let your child know that while the pain will eventually go away, the happy memories of the pet will always remain. When the time is right, you might consider adopting a new pet — not as a replacement, but as a way to welcome another animal friend into your family.

Source:  http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/feelings/pet_death.html#

Reviewed by: D'Arcy Lyness, PhD
Date reviewed: April 2012

How is a Collective Paradigm Created?

 

Take a look around at our world and you will notice something very quickly. We do a lot of things that we never question. It’s as if many of the actions we do are robotic or mechanical. We repeat things that our parents taught us and when we ask them why it’s done they don’t even know. We repeat things we see on TV, learn in books or see in a movie because it all seems so normal. But how did all of this come about? How is it that we are doing things and don’t even know why? I once read this story about an experiment done with monkeys and it accurately depicts what humans have been doing for hundreds of years. I will post it below so you can check it out for yourself.

Mind Paradigm Created

 

Think about it, doesn’t this sound exactly like what we do here? We do things because of things that may have happened years ago and don’t even apply to us anymore. We never ask or question why it’s like that because we find it easier to be robotic than to think outside the box. Or is it that we have been educated into  not thinking outside of the box? Either way you look at it, I think it’s time we start moving ourselves out of mechanical mode and into free thinking mode.

Source:  http://www.collective-evolution.com/2012/08/03/how-is-a-collective-paradigm-created/

The Story Of Positive Thinking

We have all heard the slogans. “Think Positive!”, “Expect only the best outcomes!”, “Strive to be happy”, “Avoid negativity!”, “Put more effort in your intentions!” “Find happiness in what you have” or “Be careful with your thoughts, think negative and you’ll attract negativity. Think positive and…” you know the drill. 

Positive thinking has become quite popular amongst spiritual communities and even in the business world. It is a concept that pairs up the truth of our creator essence, and the desire to attract riches, success, happiness, the ideal partner, or even spiritual enlightenment. Some believe that in order to get rid of what we don’t want while attracting what we do want, we must pretend that our desired reality is already in play while ignoring the current challenges. Even when it comes to global change, I often hear people say that we must avoid looking at what doesn’t work in our world because it will perpetuate negativity, or that we must even “believe” or “pretend” that all challenges have already been overcome.

But let’s tune into the underlined key words that are often paired with this concept. Think, expect, strive, effort, happiness, positive, negative, avoid, want, have, success, believe, pretend, ideal, riches… PHEW!! Sounds like quite the mental workout. But what about… not getting what we want? Who are we then? Did we fail? Are we now afraid to face a version of ourselves that does not match our expectations? Must we push even harder to try and stay positive? Or will we be pulled down into negativity and be forever lost?

Notice how agitated and demanding these thoughts and concepts feel in the body. Instead of allowing you to be as you are, they push you to act in a certain way, to force/avoid thoughts, to chase an “ideal”, to fear the “worst” case scenario… But thoughts create reality, right? You think what you want, you get what you want, is that it?

Sure, we can try to avoid or shape this moment all we want and believe that this is how you create your ‘ideal’ reality. But if we want to know what truly creates our reality, we must ask ourselves the right questions. What can’t we accept about this moment? What is the story behind our ideals? Must we constantly be in an effortful chase mode, want mode, pretend mode or faith mode to feel good about ourselves? Why can’t we feel at peace right here and right now?

The truth is, there can be a belief system or a suppressed emotional baggage behind our thoughts and desires. And THAT is what creates our experience. That is what ‘the secret’ won’t tell you. That is where we must inquire further.

• Why should we put so much effort in creating happiness? Is this our natural state? Or is it because we are we unhappy with ourselves when dropping all effort or with the idea of not getting to where we ‘want’ to be?
• Why should we hold on to so many expectations? Is this our natural state? Or is it because we would we be devastated when facing an outcome that would not match our expectations?
• Why must we find happiness in what we HAVE? Is this our natural state? Or is it because we cannot just be happy and at peace with what we ARE?
• Why should we attach ourselves to the ‘positive’ polarity? Is this our natural state? Or is this because we are holding judgment towards the opposite polarity and are afraid of facing hidden negative charges within us?

Notice how our minds have been programmed to avoid uncomfortable feelings. Many people will reach out for television, alcohol, partying, food or credit cards to avoid facing them. Positive thinking goes right in the list. It is just another way to focus ‘out there’ and not have to look at the feeling.

“An uncomfortable feeling is like a compassionate alarm clock that says, “You’re in the dream.” It’s time to inquire, that’s all. But if we don’t honor the alarm clock, then we try to alter and manipulate the feeling by reaching into an apparent external world.” – Byron Katie

Self-policing our way to “happiness” is no different than walking on eggshells. If we don’t get to reach our “happy happy” goal or emotional state, we then see ourselves as a failure and jump into an opposite polarity (e.g. sadness, dissapointment, frustration, depression). But does it really feel natural to live your life on such a fine line between highs and lows, between contentment and discontentment?

So let’s drop our ideas of polarity, of one being better than the other, and of the two being the only states that exist. Have you ever heard of peace? Not the “happy” or “satisfied” feeling of the ego having accomplished a goal or met an expectation, but the peace that holds no condition. The peace that underlies all of the mind’s illusory fears, identities, roles and belief systems. The peace that is who you already are.

Positive thinking, negative thinking, expectations, needs… all of these are simply effortful mind stories that pull us away from experiencing the only thing that is real: the totality and beauty of the present moment AS IT IS. As the tibetan saying goes, “When you have one eye on the goal, you only have one eye on the path”. When we create such a strict path for ourselves and fill our minds with conditions, rules and expectations, we greatly narrow our possibilities to grow and experience the totality of what this moment has to offer. We strive towards a goal that we often set up only to avoid what could be our best teachers, the very personal challenges that we need to face for our own evolution.

And guess what happens when we try to avoid what challenges us? It keeps happening. The teachers keep coming, the button pushers keep poking, and the fire keeps burning until we get rid of our own gasoline.

The whole idea of positive thinking actually programs us to miss out on the beautiful lessons, healing and expansion that occurs when we allow ourselves to face the darkness and negative charges within us. It perpetuates the belief that the “negative” is to avoid and the “positive” is to praise, when in reality, both are equal experiences that the soul has been using to play, learn and finally discover that it is not defined by either. It is once we let go of our attachment to polarity, that we transmute them both back into peace.

“Staying positive is just as effortful and draining as staying negative. Both require maintenance. True inner-peace, however, needs no story or concept to maintain itself. Peace is who and what you already are.” 

Observe the image above. Who looks more free, limitless and at peace? The one who allows himself to experience the full spectrum of his environment, or the one who restricts himself to only a fine line? That right there should be enough to debunk the myth of “positive thinking”.

Breathe… let go… and just BE!

“I went through that stage where I forced myself to be happy all the time. But when I actually gave up on it, that is when I found peace.” – Anonymous

Love,
Elina 

Source:  http://www.collective-evolution.com/2012/08/03/the-story-of-positive-thinking/

My Teen Is Breaking Rules - What Can I Do?

We recently moved, and my 16-year-old daughter started at a new school. Lately, she's been ignoring her curfew, and last weekend I smelled alcohol on her breath. What should I do?
- Joe

The best thing you can do is to talk to your daughter openly about your concerns. Be blunt, honest, and understanding — and reassure her that you want to know what's going on with her because you care. 

Discuss your expectations for her, and what the consequences will be if she breaks the rules. Many teens act like they don't need attention from their parents and family, but actually they do.

While one or two behavior glitches can be expected with a major life change, persistent changes in your daughter's behavior, attitude, or interests may mean something more is going on. Alcohol and/or drug use are often linked to depression or to difficult life changes like moving or going through a rough breakup.

If you're still concerned about your daughter's behavior, talk to her doctor or a counselor for advice.

Source:  http://kidshealth.org/parent/question/emotions/rule_breaking.html

Reviewed by: Larissa Hirsch, MD

10 Easy Ways To Get More Reading Done

Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers.

-       Charles W. Eliot

“I really should read more books,” you tell yourself.

There’s all this information you want to acquire, all these skills you want to learn.

You’re excited about reading more so that you can become a better parent, friend, employee, boss, writer or entrepreneur.

You want to immerse yourself in a captivating story and learn to see the world from a brand new perspective.

You know there’s plenty to gain from reading more books.

But when you get home after a long day, you give in to temptation.

You turn on the TV and lie on the couch. You login to Facebook and start watching YouTube videos.

Before you know it, it’s bedtime. No time left in the day to read.

If this describes you, you’re not alone. This poll reveals that half the adults in America read five books or fewer over the past year.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. I’ve discovered 10 easy ways to read more books, and I’d like to share them with you.

These 10 tips have helped me to read more than 170 books over the past four years, so I promise that they work.

1. 1.    Always have a book with you.

When you carry a book around with you all the time, it’s less likely that you’ll play with your phone or daydream whenever you’re caught waiting for something.

If you use your waiting time to read, you’ll be able to finish many more books in the long run.

1. 2.    Set aside time to read every night before you go to bed.

10 or 15 minutes of reading before you go to bed is a good way to unwind.

1. 3.    Get enough sleep.

This might sound like a tip that belongs in a different article, so allow me to explain.

Many people want to read on the bus or subway ride to work, but because they’re sleep-deprived, they decide to take a nap instead.

If you’re well-rested, you can use your commute to do some valuable reading.

1. 4.    Use your finger or a pen as a guide when you’re reading.

When you do this, you force your eyes not to “jump” around or skip back over the words that you’ve already read, which is the natural tendency of your eyes.

This tip alone will greatly improve your reading efficiency.

1. 5.    Use an e-reader.

I was initially hesitant about buying an e-reader (I use a Kindle), because I enjoy reading books in their physical form. But I was quickly won over by the convenience of doing all of my reading on the Kindle.

The font sizes are adjustable; you can share one book with multiple devices; you can highlight text and make notes; you can use one hand to navigate all of the Kindle’s functions (this is especially useful for me when I find myself holding on to the handlebar of a crowded bus with one hand, and using my Kindle with the other).

1. 6.    Buy audio books.

If you prefer to do your “reading” by listening, this option will work well for you.

1. 7.    Read one book at a time.

It’s tempting to read multiple books at once, but when you focus on finishing one book at a time, you’ll get more out of each book that you read.

1. 8.    Read while sitting on the “throne.”

It’s not recommended that you spend too much time sitting on the toilet, but since you’re going to be there for five minutes or so, why not do some reading? Five minutes of extra reading a day does add up.

1. 9.    Keep a list of books that you’ve read.

It’s exciting to see the list growing as time goes by, which will further encourage you to read more.

1. 10.  Keep a list of books that you want to read.

This list represents all the knowledge that you’d like to gain in the future. Referring to this list and updating it regularly will help you stay motivated to keep reading!

In closing…

Reading a book is like undergoing a chemical reaction.

You’ll never be exactly the same when you finish a book, because every book has the power to teach you, encourage you and shape you.

I hope these 10 tips enable you to be changed for the better through the power of reading many more good books.

Source: http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/10-easy-ways-to-get-more-reading-done/ 

10 Modern Methods of Mind Control

Nicholas West

Activist Post

The more one researches mind control, the more one will come to the conclusion that there is a coordinated script that has been in place for a very long time with the goal to turn the human race into non-thinking automatons.  For as long as man has pursued power over the masses, mind control has been orchestrated by those who study human behavior in order to bend large populations to the will of a small "elite" group.  Today, we have entered a perilous phase where mind control has taken on a physical, scientific dimension that threatens to become a permanent state if we do not become aware of the tools at the disposal of the technocratic dictatorship unfolding on a worldwide scale.

Modern mind control is both technological and psychological.  Tests show that simply by exposing the methods of mind control, the effects can be reduced or eliminated, at least for mind control advertising and propaganda.  More difficult to counter are the physical intrusions, which the military-industrial complex continues to develop and improve upon.



1. Education -- This is the most obvious, yet still remains the most insidious.  It has always been a would-be dictator's ultimate fantasy to "educate" naturally impressionable children, thus it has been a central component to Communist and Fascist tyrannies throughout history.  No one has been more instrumental in exposing the agenda of modern education than Charlotte Iserbyt -- one can begin research into this area by downloading a free PDF of her book, The Deliberate Dumbing Down of America, which lays bare the role of Globalist foundations in shaping a future intended to produce servile drones lorded over by a fully educated, aware elite class.   

2. Advertising and Propaganda -- Edward Bernays has been cited as the inventor of the consumerist culture that was designed primarily to target people's self-image (or lack thereof) in order to turn a want into a need.  This was initially envisioned for products such as cigarettes, for example.  However, Bernays also noted in his 1928 book, Propaganda, that "propaganda is the executive arm of the invisible government." This can be seen most clearly in the modern police state and the growing citizen snitch culture, wrapped up in the pseudo-patriotic War on Terror.  The increasing consolidation of media has enabled the entire corporate structure to merge with government, which now utilizes the concept of propaganda placement.  Media; print, movies, television, and cable news can now work seamlessly to integrate an overall message which seems to have the ring of truth because it comes from so many sources, simultaneously.  When one becomes attuned to identifying the main "message," one will see this imprinting everywhere.  And this is not even to mention subliminal messaging.
 

3. Predictive Programming -- Many still deny that predictive programming is real.  I would invite anyone to examine the range of documentation put together by Alan Watt and come to any other conclusion.  Predictive programming has its origins in predominately elitist Hollywood, where the big screen can offer a big vision of where society is headed.  Just look back at the books and movies which you thought were far-fetched, or "science fiction" and take a close look around at society today.  For a detailed breakdown of specific examples, Vigilant Citizen is a great resource that will probably make you look at "entertainment" in a completely different light.

4. Sports, Politics, Religion -- Some might take offense at seeing religion, or even politics, put alongside sports as a method of mind control.  The central theme is the same throughout: divide and conquer.  The techniques are quite simple: short circuit the natural tendency of people to cooperate for their survival, and teach them to form teams bent on domination and winning.  Sports has always had a role as a key distraction that corrals tribal tendencies into a non-important event, which in modern America has reached ridiculous proportions where protests will break out over a sport celebrity leaving their city, but essential human issues such as liberty are giggled away as inconsequential.  Political discourse is strictly in a left-right paradigm of easily controlled opposition, while religion is the backdrop of nearly every war throughout history.

5. Food, Water, and Air -- Additives, toxins, and other food poisons literally alter brain chemistry to create docility and apathy.  Fluoride in drinking water has been proven to lower IQ; Aspartame and MSG are excitotoxins which excite brain cells until they die; and easy access to the fast food that contains these poisons generally has created a population that lacks focus and motivation for any type of active lifestyle.  Most of the modern world is perfectly groomed for passive receptiveness -- and acceptance -- of the dictatorial elite.  And if you choose to diligently watch your diet, they are fully prepared to spray the population from the above.

6. Drugs -- This can be any addictive substance, but the mission of mind controllers is to be sure you are addicted to something.  One major arm of the modern mind control agenda is psychiatry, which aims to define all people by their disorders, as opposed to their human potential.  This was foreshadowed in books such as Brave New World.  Today, it has been taken to even further extremes as a medical tyranny has taken hold where nearly everyone has some sort of disorder -- particularly those who question authority.  The use of nerve drugs in the military has led to record numbers of suicides.  Worst of all, the modern drug state now has over 25% of U.S. children on mind-numbing medication.

7. Military testing -- The military has a long history as the testing ground for mind control.  The military mind is perhaps the most malleable, as those who pursue life in the military generally resonate to the structures of hierarchy, control, and the need for unchallenged obedience to a mission.  For the increasing number of military personal questioning their indoctrination, a recent story highlighted DARPA's plans for transcranial mind control helmets that will keep them focused.

8. Electromagnetic spectrum  -- An electromagnetic soup envelops us all, charged by modern devices of convenience which have been shown to have a direct impact on brain function.  In a tacit admission of what is possible, one researcher has been working with a "god helmet" to induce visions by altering the electromagnetic field of the brain.  Our modern soup has us passively bathed by potentially mind-altering waves, while a wide range of possibilities such as cell phone towers is now available to the would-be mind controller for more direct intervention.

9. Television, Computer, and "flicker rate"-- It's bad enough that what is "programmed" on your TV (accessed via remote "control") is engineered; it is all made easier by literally lulling you to sleep, making it a psycho-social weapon.  Flicker rate tests show that alpha brain waves are altered, producing a type of hypnosis -- which doesn't portend well for the latest revelation that lights can transmit coded Internet data by "flickering faster than the eye can see."  The computer's flicker rate is less, but through video games, social networks, and a basic structure which overloads the brain with information, the rapid pace of modern communication induces an ADHD state.  A study of video games revealed that extended play can result in lower blood flow to the brain, sapping emotional control.  Furthermore, role-playing games of lifelike war and police state scenarios serve to desensitize a connection to reality.  One look at the WikiLeaks video Collateral Murder should be familiar to anyone who has seen a game like Call of Duty.

10. Nanobots -- From science fiction horror, directly to the modern brain; the nanobots are on the way.  Direct brain modification already has been packaged as "neuroengineering." A  Wired article from early 2009 highlighted that direct brain manipulation via fiber optics is a bit messy, but once installed "it could make someone happy with the press of a button."  Nanobots take the process to an automated level, rewiring the brain molecule by molecule.  Worse, these mini droids can self-replicate, forcing one to wonder how this genie would ever get back in the bottle once unleashed. Expected date of arrival?  Early 2020s.

A concerted effort is underway to manage and predict human behavior so that the social scientists and the dictatorial elite can control the masses and protect themselves from the fallout of a fully awake free humanity. Only by waking up to their attempts to put us to sleep do we stand a chance of preserving our free will.

Source:  http://www.activistpost.com/2010/12/10-modern-methods-of-mind-control.html